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no bashing

i just want real honest answers to why people think it is so important to be married if u have a child. we are not. but we are happy in love. someday we will be married...but not right now. is that so wrong??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If you're happy and comfortable with that, then you have a right to make that decision.

    For myself, I wanted a traditional family. I wanted the commitment of a marriage for my children and myself. I know that marriage is no guarantee that it will last, but we both wanted a committed relationship. We wanted the security it gave us, and the respect that marriage generally gives to a relationship. And, of course there are legal benefits. I know my parents believe that my husband loves me enough to make a commitment to me, and that matters to me. I wouldn't have been happy without making those vows legal. My husband wouldn't have either. He told me he was going to marry me 2 weeks after we met. We've been married 21 years.

    What's important to me, and to my family doesn't have to be important to you. Without a doubt you have a right to the kind of relationship you want to have. Best Wishes.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:38 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Honestly, because i have attachment issues but the real reason to have a kid in marriage is the health insurance, at least in this country...

    Answer by zoozleroo at 12:43 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • No its not wrong at all. some people just think its better to be married when you have kids. Some people are more traditional. But in todays world, dont marry unless your truely ready and in love. dont rush it. make sure your marrying the right person. it will hurt the child worse if you have to go thru a divorce, and it will cost a lot more for you. Plus a lot of people think your setting a better example by marrying if you have kids, but the moto i completely agree with, is "troubled kids dont come from broken homes, they come from homes that should of been broken" So If thats the person you love and want to be with the rest of your life, then go for it, if not, then take your time. Theres nothing wrong with it at all. A lot just has to do with religion and tradition. but its your life, so do what you want. When your kids grow up they will understand.

    Answer by MPatterson0607 at 12:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I totally understand where you are coming from, my now MIL was a pill, when we told her we were gonna have a baby the first thing she said was that we needed to get married, she is a mormon and she said that this is the way it is suppose to be, we I told her I am catholic and that god gave me the chance to have my son and thats what I was going to do married or not. We did get married on our own time and are very much in love but there is NO and I MEAN NO reason why you need to be married unless you want to and don't let anyone tell you different.....

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 8:58 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Just because someone is married is not a garuntee that they will stay married. I did not get married with the intention of getting a divorce. But 14 yrs later it is what happened. We have 3 children together. I now am living with my SO of 8 yrs. We have two boys together who are 3 and 4. We are not married and things are better than they ever were when I was married. Do what is right for you and your family.

    Answer by salexander at 11:58 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

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