Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I take him back?

My son was born 9-19. Well, I had not seen or talked to his father since Mother's Day (this was his choice) My brother and cousin call him when I was in labor. He called back after I delivered and as soon as he heard him cry over the phone and I sent him a pic he got the he got the next flight back. We started back talking while I was in the hospital and he apologized, said he knew he messed up and let us both down - and he should have been there. (He blamed it on a custody battle he's going through with his other 2 boys) He got full custody and he is a GREAT father. Anyways. My son is still in the hospital and he came to see him 9-24. He cried, said he was sorry, wanted to make it up to us. We kept talking on the phone. He told me he had been seeing someone and he wanted me to hear it from him because the girl was mad that he had a baby by me and didn't know what she might do. Well, he said "You act like you don't miss us

Answer Question
 
Maya09

Asked by Maya09 at 2:47 AM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I asked him how I could miss him when he's with someone else. He told me maybe if I told him how I feel things would be different. We got together to talk and in the middle of a sentence he grabbed me and kissed me and told me I gave him a beautiful baby, he loves me, and he is proud of me. He started telling me he loved me when we got off the phone and told me in so many words he was not talking to her anymore. NOW..The other night he wanted to ride to the hospital w/ me to see the baby and told me his son "and them" might have to pick him up, I asked who "them" were and sure enough - it was that girl! I hung up and have not talked to him since - he keep calling and texting. I text him back and told him that unless it has something to do w/ Hayden we have nothing to talk about. At first he seemed sincere. He told me he wanted to be content with what he expirienced being with me and our baby.
    Maya09

    Answer by Maya09 at 2:53 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Then about the other girl, he told me it's not like that. I don't understand..yet he won't explain it to me. He said he wants to hear me say I want to be with him. Basically how I see it is he doesn't want to let her go unless he's 100% that I want to be with him. I do love him but I accepted it the whole time he was gone. I didn't expect to be with him. I honestly just want him there for his son. I'm being very reasonable and easy to get along with when it comes to the baby. He never cheated on me while we were together. I don't think he would if we got back together. But the thing is, I went through the last 4 months of my pregnancy alone. When he came to see him the first time it gave me an anxiety attack and I realize now it's because he hasn't been there all this time and I don't want to share my baby. So..I tried to be with him for my son. What should I do, should I give it 1 more try? I still love him.
    Maya09

    Answer by Maya09 at 3:00 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • so did he cheat on you???....follow your hear baby girl! we live and learn, if you feel like it could work try it but let him know he has to try or else your done!
    Eveshalloween

    Answer by Eveshalloween at 3:18 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • oh sorry didnt finish all that last part...if that girl is out of the picture then you should do what your heart tells you..otherwise you seem like u did it so far on your own..find someone better if hes not good enough for the both of you xoxo good luck doll
    Eveshalloween

    Answer by Eveshalloween at 3:19 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • This is really somthing you need to put some thought into. Plus I'm sure your going throw alot right now with just having your son. Weigh it out. Make a list of why and why not. I think in your heart you know what you want. But you want to know if the reasoning is right for it or not. I wish you luck with it. And best of luck with your new buddle of joy.
    Shaqbe4u

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 3:23 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • You should give it some time. Take a "wait and see" attitude. Tell him that you are not interested in sharing your husband with another woman and that since he is the one who left, he is the one who has to prove that he is sincere about being a one-woman man. I'm always suspicious of men who take off and then try to put the responsibility for making up on the woman he left. The fact that you have a child does complicate your situation a lot because your child needs a father. The truth is that whether or not the father is actively involved in the child's life, he will apt to turn out to be more like his dad than like you. This is a fact that does not become apparent until your children are grown. It is also why the selection of your children's father is way more important than most young women ever give a thought to. Your guy may turn out to be a diamond in the rough, but you should watch and wait and let him prove it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:52 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I know what you mean about not wanting to share your baby. My daughter's father left the last few months of my pregnancy, and then when he came back around I realized I didn't want to share my baby. I think it's because I thiink about how much he hurt me, and I don't want my daughter to ever feel hurt from being abandoned or not wanted. I encourage you to folloe your heart, it's the only thing that is going to make you happy in the end, and leave you with no regrets.
    Sharde88

    Answer by Sharde88 at 11:12 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • he's keeping her on the back burner and will only dump her if you say you'll take him back. sounds like he doesn't really love either of you. i wouldn't take him back. life is to short to be wasting it on someone who says he loves you but that doesn't really love you. if he really loved you in the first place he wouldn't be with this other girl. i mean please you were pregnant with this child and he still let you be alone. i have been there and honey i'm remarried and not with the father of any of my kids.my new husband loves my kids and more then the other men in my life. just think of you and your son and preparing a comfortable life without him. the baby can have a relationship with his father but doesn't mean you have too. i know there is another man out tere who will accept you and you baby. he'll love you more then this man does.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:28 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • well your story sounds alot like mine but im married to the man wit two beautiful girls and he was cheatin on me but now my little girl is two months old and were back together tryin it again
    sam0816

    Answer by sam0816 at 4:38 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
?

Next question overall (Health)
ovarian cysts bursting/pregnancy symptoms