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Do women really not know how to discipline their kids?

My SO of 3 yrs who i have a 1yr old dd with, told me this morning that he thinks women in general do not know how to discipline kids. I have a 9 yr old from previous relationship & he thinks im not disciplining her the correct way. I had her when i was 16 (my mother died when i was 3 & my father was no help when I had her) so i've always struggled to raise her the right way. Its not an excuse, its just facts. My SO says im too soft on her. I do whoop her when she gets in trouble at school, but she would still act up so then i started making her write sentences. Her behavior has improved but she got into trouble ystrday & the day before (talking in class).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Most women do, it's an individual thing, not all women are the same and not all men are either.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 8:47 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • cont. from above.
    So this morning he says she's still acting up because im too soft on her. I admit sometimes when she's supposed to be grounded, i let her off the hook (my fault). My idea of her being grounded is no t.v., no going outside to play w/friends & no games, etc. HIS idea of her being grounded is all the above PLUS keeping her in her room 24/7 with the exception of cleaing the house, going to the bathroom & she also has to eat in her room. Am i really being too soft on her? I feel like Im letting her run over me...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • i'm the same way with my kids. when they get introuble i ground them from one thing and if it cont. i keep grounding them from somethingelse. till everything they have is gone. the one thing they think they can't live without is there cell phones and computer so thats what i have learned to take from them. my kids DD13 and DS 15 they really get away with alot. i just hate getting on to them unless it is something really bad. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • It is always hard to have someone looking over your shoulder as you try your best to parent your child, who you love and want all the best for! Discipline has two sides.....love is part of it. You should look at the situation realistically and see where you can improve. I don't think you need to be overly harsh in your punishments, but I do think it is important to be consistent. You would be better off making the grounding for a shorter period and sticking to it 100% than making it longer and more harsh and then giving in..... (for example). I don't think it has all that much to do with being a woman, as there are all different kinds of parents. Focus on this for a while yourself without anyone else's opinions in your head. If you need advice maybe try counseling, but I don't think you should let this man interfere in your relationship with your child. He isn't coming from a place of love like you are....
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 8:58 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I think he's too strict, but you do need to be more consistant with yoru discipline. Talking in class isn't really a serious offense in my book. Some kids are just chatterboxes! :) But I think there are many people out htere who arent' discipling their kids -- men and women!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Eveyone is different , some don't really want to be bothered.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Careful with this guy, it sounds like he is jealous and controlling. It's none of his business how you discipline your daughter. She may be acting up because he is abusing her. Get her into counseling now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • He wants you to keep your 9 year old in her room, only to come out to use the bathroom and clean? For how long???? This might be an appropriate punishment for say, an hour, but it doesn't sound like we're talking about short term here.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 10:09 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • No anonymous.Were in god names do you think he is abusing her.My husband is strict with my daughter because she get infractions like 3 times a week. Does that make him abusive no.We are both hard on her.Shes has Adhd.My son is 5 and is in kindergarten.He always brings home stickers,stars ,great job stamps.The teacher never ever says anything bad about my son.Each child is different.Now my two year old I worry she is very bossy and has a hard attitude.Every child is different.That is is crazy anonymous 52.Are you a phycologist?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I think everyone is different. I know some moms can be quite lax, while others are very firm. The key is to be consistant, and to follow thru. If your punishment is writing sentences, have her do that EVERY time she is being punished, do not do it today, let it go tomorrow and then make her do it the day after... And for follow thru- if you say punishment today is 7pm bedtime - then at 6:30 start the bedtime routine and make sure she is in bed at 7pm. Don't be lax and let it go and tell her at 9pm to go to bed cause then she will know you do not mean it and it will make it harder to enforce a punishment next time.

    As for your bf-- since he is not the father he really has no say in how you discipline your child it is not his business, he needs to back off and keep out if it. I do think his idea of punishment is too controlling and extreme.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:15 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

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