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one lost but a next one found

hi everybody i need some serious help, i've lost my twins but i'm pregnant again with a baby thats not my bf's. i've been in the wrong place at the wrong time and some dude toke advantage over me when i was drunk, he told me e was sorry but i'm not buying it. i'm about 14 weeks and my mom doesnt know i'm pregnant again, i know i was not responsable and i am furious with myself for being such an idiot, but i'm not back in school and doing great with my grades, but i dont know what to do, like if i should tell somebody or just leave it slide. the baby's father is 27 and i'm only 17 and he was my good friend till he have sex with me and i was not awear of it till my cousin and him told me, he did say he's going to support his baby but i'm not so sure. please help!!!!!!...i dont have any family members to go to because there not to be trusted, and my om have problems on her head right now because my brother raped few girls befor.

Answer Question
 
babykiss

Asked by babykiss at 11:05 AM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You need to tell your bf first! He has a right to know!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:12 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I am NOT trying to be mean BUT you are SOOOO YOUNG . You are not even 18. Give your beautiful baby up for adoption. Let him or her grow up in a two parent home with people who REALLY want a baby and have the time, money and wisdom to raise a child properly. It will be hard for you, but you will be doing the best thing for your baby giving him or her a life that you can not give them at this stage in your life. Good luck.
    abbyg

    Answer by abbyg at 11:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • i would just explain to ur mom that ur were at a party and u blacked out and now ur preg and through the grapevine u know who the father is...adoption is a option but haveing a bay at 17 is not the end of the world...u can still have ur dreams, but a baby just makes it a little harder thats all...its up to u to tell ur mom who the father is and how u ended up preg really...im just telling u still can have a life i know some awsom teen mom who r in great jobs b/c they did what they have always wanted to do..what does ur bf say about the baby? it'll make it easier if hes supportive
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 11:58 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • So you were raped? If that is the case, you need to let your mom know and let her help you go to the police. This guy needs to be held responsible for what he did to you. And don't give him credit for offering to support the child. He took advantage of you....gees. I would lose the boyfriend and the party lifestyle and focus on you and your baby.
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 12:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • You were raped. By a friend. Ive been there and i also got pregnant because of it. I never reported it and i wish that i had. Noone found out about it till 3 years after it had happened. Needless to say i lost the baby in the 3rd month. But you need to tell your boyfriend and your mom. I know it sucks but when it happened to me a seccond time (didnt get pregnant this time) I reported it after i told my mom and she helped me through all of it. The bastard is now in jail and i wish i would have done that the first time. Even though i though he was a friend. And by the way you might want to look into what your going to do with the child. It is hard to carry a baby when you know it was the result of a rape. I was going to carry mine to term and put it up for adoption as soon as it was deliverd i didnt even want to see it.There was no way i would be able to see the child of a man that raped me.Just something you need to think about
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 12:49 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Never assume the bio dad will be making support payments. Alot of them say that so baby's mom will chill then they deny the baby once it's born. Seen it happen too many times. That said you need to tell someone. It's a hard thing for a parent to accept, but they need to know. It's still their grandchild and they may want some say in adoption options. You found yourself ina difficult situation. Perhaps if you contact a state social worker they can help you get things straightened out again. Certainly they can stand with you when the inevitable telling your parents happens. But yeah ditch the parties. IDK about the BF. He may or may not be supportive, but don't make the mistake of telling him it's his if it's not. He should understand things happen, but he should not be a daddy if he isn't biologically unless he wants to be. Good luck and seriously find a social worker to talk to. You need it.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 12:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • You need to go to the police first. It sounds like your family and your BF are not going to be supportive. If you are passed out drunk naked, it is against the law for anyone, even a "friend" to have sex with you. The police can put you in contact with the women's center in your community. They can help you will free counseling. Go to the police.

    If this man has sex with minors after giving them alcohol (which is so illegal) what makes you believe that he will pay child support? He's a douche bag and a criminal.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 1:17 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:38 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I am prayin for you and this baby in this dumpster of a situation you are in...i think i would tell my bf and my mom, if you were taken advantage of then technically its not ur fault u are preggo..u were unaware of what was going on...just think about your options before doing anything drastic...good luck and best wishes to you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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