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What's your parenting style vs your parents parenting style?

Someone asked a similar question the other day, but I'm interested in something a bit more specific. What's your parenting style vs your parents. Did you chose to parent differently than your parents?

Here's the 4 different types of parenting styles:

Authoritarian Parenting
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. According to Baumrind, these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (1991).

Answer Question

Asked by nwdeserangel at 11:42 AM on Oct. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 6 (111 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • cont:

    # Authoritative Parenting
    Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Baumrind suggests that these parents "monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative" (1991).

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:43 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Permissive Parenting
    Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. According to Baumrind, permissive parents "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation" (1991). Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.


    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:44 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Uninvolved Parenting
    An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:44 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • They believed in abuse...physical and mental.

    I don't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I'm an authoritative parent and my parents were authoritarian. I knew I wanted to parent my children very different than my parents had raised me. I had never seen authoritative parenting in action but had learned about it in psychology. This was the early 1980's.

    I love learning so I started reading parenting books. I think the best for young kids is still Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary. It shaped my early parenting. I became involved with La Leche League and got to see other mothers practicing authoritative parenting. I went to LLL state and international conferences and got to hear parenting experts speak. I ate lunch with William Sears, MD back before he was very famous and his attachment parenting model was new.

    My children are all adults now and I have a grandson. My son is an authoritative parent.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:53 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • My mother and her husband were straight up Authoritarian ( intrusive and abusive to boot).
    My DH and I are more Authoritative, but I do tend to be Authoritarian if I'm super tired.
    My DH's parents were Permissive with an Authoritarian streak.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:53 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • My mom used to beat the crap out of me, when I was growing up, she finally stopped when I was 15 and that's because we move to the United States and she found out I could call 911 on her :-) I do not believe in hitting my Dd,, I do believe in time-outs, and they seem to be working fine. I definetely do not want to be like my mom, I'm teaching Dd that hitting is not nice, and that no one absolutely no one is allowed to raise a hand on her, including her father (the sperm donor)

    Answer by cholita1978 at 11:58 AM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Okay I guess I would be an Authoritative Parent (Dd is 2 1/2 ) so we'll see how I turn out, later on in life. :-)

    Answer by cholita1978 at 12:03 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • My mother was and still is Authoritative to an abusive extent!

    My DH's father was overly abusive, but passed when he was only 14. His mother was overly un-involved...

    Together we are Permissive! If it isn't going to cause them direct harm, I really don't fret to much. But my mother calls me over pertective anyways...So I guess I'm in the middle.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Sabrina, do you mean Authoritative or Authoritarian. Usually Authoritarians are abusive, while Authoritative are not.

    Gail, that's so wonderful that you exposed yourself and involved yourself to so many different ways to be an Authoritative parent. Any hints or help for us mothers with little ones. Because of my mother's parenting, I sometimes struggle with being an Authoritative parent.


    Answer by nwdeserangel at 12:47 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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