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Do you spank your kids for having temper tantrums?

My 15 month old is starting to throw bad tantrums. She had a full-blown tantrum in the store the other day. I was standing in line in customer service to pay the og&e bill & she kept wiggling, struggling & crying to get down. So i let her down. Big Mistake! Of course as soon as she was on the ground, she went straight to the first thing she could play with which happened to be the candie on display. She started grabbing everything off the shelves & putting it in her mouth & the whole nine. I grabbed her by the arm & told her "NO" & picked her back up. But she started screaming at the top of her lungs & kicking & punching. Needless to say, i left the store embarrassed without paying my bill. When i got her in the car i spanked her (i wouldnt do it in public). How do you deal with tantrums in public? or even at home? Is it ok to spank them for doing it? And how do you stop it BEFORE it happens?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I don't spank for tantrums. They aren't choosing this behavor. Rather it's a reaction to some thing else. (such as not being able to communicate with you, being tired or hungry, etc). i try to let her get it out of her system, before trying to approach my daughter. She'll kick and scream and cry. But it passes. I ignore her, but sure she's safe then when she calms down, then I try to figure out what she wanted and go from there. I try to make sure she's not tired or hungry before we go out, as that's usually when she's most liekly to throw a fit. For a whlie, it was because she couldn't communicate, but she learned to point and now that she's talking, it's not a problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I've had to leave stores too. Sometimes you can't stop it before it starts. Usually what you described is when it happens. You're trying to do something that bores them and they get tired. There isn't usually an answer for that. You have to pay bills and can't always wait till you can get help from someone else. The only thing I can say is wait and go back later. When you can, try to let her get it all out. When my son does it at home or a relative house, as embarassing as the latter is, I just let him do it. Once he sees he's not getting a reaction from me, it usually stops.

    I feel for you though. I've been through that before. I've left the store or whatever then when DH gets off work, if it was at a place that is still open, DS gets to stay home with Daddy while Mommy goes back out. He hasn't had a public tantrum in a while. I think him having to stay home helped a lot.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • no. i igonred the tantrum. this is what i do lets say weare at home and she trhow s a fit. i tell her go to heroom thats warining one, then ifshe doesnt i myself take her to the room and let her throw a fit. if she stars throwing stuff she gets one pop in the butt very light and i say you can cry but you are not going to destroy the room. so she sits on her bed and cries a lil(her fits last 5mts maybe 8) once she cals down she call me or dh. we sit with her and explaint o her why she was pit in the room and why she was spanked(if we did) but most times the temper tantrums are mostly her crying really loud. we saysorry forspanking her and giveher a hug and kiss and shesays sorry for throwing a fit.it works great. what triggers her fits is if i dont give her her pacifier.(31mts) am trying to wean her and of course if she gets caught doing somethign she shopuldt and we ask her why she didn it..
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 1:22 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • IN public. well dd thrownthat many fits in public and is she does.dh just looks at her and she stops. or we leavethe store. another solution is we turn her attention to something else. we dont careabout spanking in public but so far dd has calm down before she hutsthe big cry. dh tells her you can cry but sofltly no screaming. i noticed she throws a fit if she is tired so we try not going out during naptime or if we are out wemake surer she falls asleep in the car so when we havetogoto the store she is slepping
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 1:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • sorryfor all ther replies lol. dd has nevr kicked or punch. she try once and dh spanked her and that was the last time she did that. she does say mommy you are so mean.
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 1:26 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I do spank my one child for tantrums but not the other. Time outs are more effective then spankings for my son so I dont bother spanking him. My daughter wont do a time out, she will get right up and come to me and start her fit all over again, however spankings work so I do spank her
    Jaydin_Makenna

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 1:52 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • But I believe that 15 months is a little young to spank for a temper tantrum. I didnt start spanking my daughter til a few weeks ago and she will be 2 1/2 this month
    Jaydin_Makenna

    Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 1:53 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I usually just put her in time out for tantrums. And the timer starts when she's quiet (aka- not screaming anymore). *knock on wood*, we seem to making headway with that system.
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 2:05 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Oh, and I tell her she's going in time out when we get home. Or I'll threaten time out if she doesn't shape up, and sometimes that's enough to quiet her down. She really doesn't like time out!
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 2:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • 15 months is still a baby- no I would not spank her- she can be distracted offer her some juice or a toy while u shop. Their is usually a reason - was it too close to naptime? Short trips r best with young toddlers/babies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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