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32 weeks pregnant and still not excited

I am now 32 weeks pregnant with our second child. I am very concerned that I am not feeling excited for the baby's arrival. The nursery is done, the clothing is washed and put in place, etc., but I still don't feel excitement. Our son just turned 3, and he is the light of my life. I worry terribly that the addition of a sibling will destroy him, although he DOES speak about her arrival in a positive manner every day. I also worry that the baby will demand me to share the love I have for my son. I feel terrible writing all of this, but I really thought I would be excited by now! (This baby was a bit of a surprise!)

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TiffaniR

Asked by TiffaniR at 1:35 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (5)
  • I found that having my second son was very mentally disturbing to me. I also feared not having enough energy and attention to spend on my older son. Fortunately daddy finally got to stand in and get his share of the lime light. We had a few rough days but overall we adjusted very well. When my older son came to visit his new brother in the hospital I was so filled with emotion that I bawled my eyes out. It was amazing to have my new family together in one place. On the other hand when I brought the baby home I had a mini meltdown wondering how I was possibly going to be able to do it all. Now it's 2 1/2 years later and I cant imagine my world without my 2 boys. Good Luck Mama, you can do, and whenever you feel you can't, just pop onto cafemom and vent your heart out because there are alot of moms willing to listen!
    kryssie78

    Answer by kryssie78 at 1:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Well, I'm not nearly as far along as you, but I know exactly how you're feeling. This baby is a surprise for us too, and not as far apart from our last as we'd like. I guess my first thought was, "well, if she's not excited by this time in her pregnancy, is there any hope for me?" ha ha!

    None of that is helpful to you maybe, but I know this much. The love you have for your son will grow. The love you have inside with grow to match the number of people you love. You'll be able to love your new baby, and get to know her just like you did with your son. The best part is, you'll get to see your son love the baby more and more and give her kisses and say cute things like, "her fingers are so teeny tiny!" Just relax. Being ready for a baby is not the same thing as being emotionally ready. Try to take a few minutes each day between now and due date to "hold" your baby and talk with her. Tell her you love her and are excited. Pretty
    ACL2007

    Answer by ACL2007 at 1:44 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Pretty soon it won't feel like a lie anymore. That's what I'm banking on anyway. Good luck and congratulations!
    ACL2007

    Answer by ACL2007 at 1:44 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I had a friend who was not only not excited, but downright antagonistic when it came to her third child...she was angry at her husband, at God, at life for bringing another child when she was about to finish her nursing degree! She already had a job, and she wanted a "real" house as they were living in a mobile home. I tried to calm her fears and worries, but she was REALLY angry. I told her, "Once you take this baby home, and he is in your arms, all you will want to do it hold and rock him...and let the world go by." She grumbled at me in response.

    Two months later she came to me with the Little One snuggled in her arms and said, "You were right." I asked, "About what?" (our earlier conversation totally forgotten) she said, "I love him SO MUCH! I quit my job and I don't care if we ever get a "real house" anymore...all I want to do is sit and rock him." The baby was 6 weeks old at the time. The same will happen to you!
    singnstitch

    Answer by singnstitch at 2:08 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I just answered another question about whether those of us with more than one really love them all the same, and I think the answer applies here just as well.

    I wasn't excited at all about having my second, it actually got worse as the pregnancy progressed. My son was everything to me, and I didn't want to lose any of that. Then my daughter was born, and I resented her for taking me away from my son, and I fervently wished that I could go back to just having one kid. But my son adjusted very well to having a baby sister around, better and faster than me actually, and I think that helped. I felt bad for not wanting my daughter around, but it didn't change anything. As we settled into a routine with the new baby, things got a lot better, and now she's 5 months old and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

    It'll get better with time. :)
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 3:26 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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