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What do you think when another mother says what you have your daughter or son calling something is stupid?

I don't think its right. Its not their child and they don't have to teach their kids what I am. Someone on CM just told me having my two year old calling her vagina a T.T. is stupid. I have my reasons for her calling it that. She doesnt understand when your in public to not say vagina all the time. I am teaching her that but it takes time. I plan on teaching her its a vagina when she understand you can say a lot of things in public. She JUST TURNED 2 IN AUG! was it right for her to tell me its stupid to have her call it a T.T?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I don't think it's right for her to call you stupid, and I do understand your reasons for it, but I would be careful with teaching your kids alternative words for things like that. I had to attend a neighborhood alert meeting the last place we lived when 2 sex offenders moved into our neighborhood.

    One of the things the cops told us about was how a lot of times kids who use pet names or non accurate names like that for body parts are more at risk of being molested, because they're more open for the "secret names" that the abuser can give them for the parts. They gave the example of a case they had investigated. The little girl kept telling people for weeks about "playing with the kitty" and "petting the kitty" with her babysitter's bf. Everyone thought how cute. Until someone happened to ask her what kind of kitty it was, and she gave more details. He was abusing her, and was calling her vagina her kitty.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:34 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Why should she be talking about her vagina at all?
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 2:32 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • lol a tt, whats so bad about that?
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 2:33 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • OP..she had diaper rash on it. and was telling me it hurts. so she was saying mommy my TT hurts. I rather my daughter know what it is and tell me if somethings wrong then not know what it is and just say she hurts, And if someone touches her wrong she can tell me. Shes smart for just turning two and in all honesty i like it that way she can talk a lot better then most 4 year olds
    When shes washing herself i tell her what parts to wash and she does and that's a part that needs to be washed so that's how she learned
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Like I said though, I understand why you want to be discrete,and she should NOT have called you stupid - because you're right, it's your child and your decision.

    But, for what it's worth, I would be careful about teaching her words like that. Maybe just when she says it, just remind her "we don't need to talk about those in public. If you need to tell me about it, then let's talk at home."

    Most people are going to be pretty understanding about little kids saying words like that in public.

    LOL - my ds stood up in a restaurant and announced he did have room for ice cream - he was gonna put it in his penis, because that's where it comes out, anyway! He was 3 at the time :-)

    So I do feel your pain with wanting her to not go around saying these things in public :-)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:38 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Well, she has a right to her opinion that's it's stupid. And you have a right to teach your kid what you feel is best even if other people think it is stupid.

    I personally do teach my kids the proper names for their body parts, partially for the reasons about safety from child molestors a PP talked about, and partly because I just think it's better to teach kids to be matter of fact about genitals, etc instead of attaching some kind of stigma to them at such a young age, but I wouldn't call someone stupid for doing otherwise. I'd just tell them (if they were interested) why I make the choice I do instead.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:41 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • oh, btw, please don't think that I was telling you to not do it or meant what I said as a lecture or anything. I was just sharing what they said because I didn't know that, and hearing it kinda freaked me out. The police said that this is something that a lot of people (who aren't abusers) think of.

    So, I figure since they said that a lot of us don't think of it or know about it, then when the subject comes up, I try to tell parents about it, too, in case they didn't know, either :-)

    I do believe it's your kid, your choice, and unless you asked her opinion, she shouldn't have said anything.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:42 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I refer to my daughter's Vaginia as creases and crevases. Or Cooie, who cares that you don't go around saying VAGINA all the time, it's easier for small kids to understand.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 2:42 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • op.. Sailor your fine. u didnt say anything wrong lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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