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why is this so hard?

my ex and i broke up in may. he hasnt been much help with out son. i was so sure i didnt want to be with him. now as time goes on i feel like i made a mistake. he is already seeing someone and we go to mediation on this coming tuesday. all i feel like doing is crying. i dont know what to do with my self. this is so hard and an emotional rollercoaster. how do i feel better about this stuff. i feel like i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Do you tfeel he misses you & wants you back? If so...let him know how you feel. Reguardless if hes w/ another. Hes filling in an empty void right now bc he is hurting. Missing someone is so totally normal. BUT!!! Do you really want him back. Dont let the lonliness or depression get the best of you. Think about the reason's you didnt want to be w/ him. Write your pros & cons. Imagine..seriously, if you can be w/ this person the rest of your life. Even if you didnt have achild together. Start there. Ler me know how you are doing. :)
    giannasbabyboo

    Answer by giannasbabyboo at 7:47 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Have you 2 gone to counseling?
    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 4:09 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I am sorry. Changes of any kind are stressful, and you are going through a terribly big change, so no wonder you are stressed out. Cry all you want, you are mourning the end of dreams and love, give yourself as much time as you need to get over the sadness. Meanwhile plan for your new life and new adventures.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:09 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I agree with Bmat...hang in there because your best life yet is right around the corner! Don't give up!
    mamasarias

    Answer by mamasarias at 4:27 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • singingTell him you are having second thoughts. The fat lady isn't singing so there is still a chance to right a possible wrong. 

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:28 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Don't make yourself look like an ass. Don't just tell him you are having second thoughts. Use your judgment first. See if he shows any signs of wanting you back. If he does, then go for it. If he doesn't, then move on. You do not want him and his new lady to use you as their evening joke.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Wow I have felt like this before. I did not have a child back then but as soon as I found out my ex was single, even after a two years, I rushed over to him. I wish I had let my emotions NOT get the best of me. If I had to do it over, I would give it time. I would have let him come back to me, just like the old saying goes. I dont have regrets, we are still friends.
    But I have never experienced having seperated with someone and a child involved. I just wanted to let you know that I had the same rollercoaster ride.......
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 4:46 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I like the title of the book: It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.

    Nostalgia is common when your life 'right now' doesn't feel very good, and you've moved far enough away from whatever it is you couldn't stand anymore. It doesn't mean whatever you couldn't stand is 'better' than it was then, it's just too far away to remember very clearly.

    This is why all the 'change' experts recommend moving toward something specific, rather than away from something. This is so when the sailing gets a little choppy, you have something pulling you forward, instead of something standing still looking better and better from the distance.

    What do you want? What do you want to achieve? What do you want to experience in a relationship --'cause that wasn't it.

    If you left to 'make him see what he's missing' you have shot yourself in the foot, and as he has made clear, you can only control yourself.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:50 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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