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My daughter keeps hitting me and her dad!

She keeps kissing us and making up but always hits us and smacks us and mutters things at the same time. Like alot, like it's all she does. Is this normal. I tried everything to get her to stop and nothing seems to be working.oh she's 1 1/2 yrs old.Even if we're just trying to look out for her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (12)
  • Here is Dr. Sears advice

    Answer by Gailll at 5:15 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Is she around aggressive older siblings or aggressive behavior from you and your husband? what consiquences does she have if she does hit?

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:26 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I would be asking myself if the day care or sitter is teaching her bad habbits. She HAS to be learning this behavior from SOMEWHERE!

    Answer by vbruno at 5:47 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • my dd does the same thing and is a week from 18m. I have no idea where she gets it- I'm a SAHM, she's an only, dh and I don't spank or smack each other and the kids in our playgroup don't hit either. She only smacks family but its so frustrating. I stick her on time out- like plop her out of my lap, onto the floor (not a chair), say "we do NOT hit" and walk away. It really upsets her but she does it again later and sometimes in public where I can't put her on the floor. Its hard! I hope you get some good advice! I need it too!

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 6:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I disagree that it's a learned behavior. Lots of toddlers go through a hitting stage. We remind our daughter that we don't hit - we hug. I also tell her every time that if she needs my attention, she just needs to say, "mommy," and I'll listen to her.


    Answer by lvpenguino at 7:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Totally normal behaviour. I use time out for hitting, biting, kicking, etc. She's still young enough to do it this way:
    Say to her "No hitting" then hold her in your lap facing away from you for a minute and a half (or as close as you can get) then repeat "No hitting", give her a kiss, and move on.

    If you can see a hit coming, try to distract her or say "just hugs, no hitting" and see if that works. One of my boys used to bite when he got excited so if we saw one coming we'd say "give us a squeeze" and that helped redirect him.

    Answer by twinclubmom at 7:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • It is NOT learned behavior! My 15 month old occasionally hits me, and I've never laid a finger on her in her life. It's just a normal part of development.

    I tell my daughter, "Nice touch please", and she will stroke my face softly. She is learning the difference between nice touching and hurtful touching (eg-hitting). Because I've been working with her on this, she will hit my face, then remember that it's not a nice touch, and will immediately stroke my face (without me having to say a word).

    I don't think your child is intentionally trying to hurt you.

    Answer by Fallaya at 8:42 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I agree too, I was just wondering if that COULD be the case. My son goes through this every now and then and I say Honey, NO NO hit. We are NICE, and I take his hand and stroke my face or wherever he hit and say NICE.. and he repeats it. We have a daily talk about this with my precious cats too cause he wants to pull and hit them too....poor kitties.. he's been doing this for like 4 months, but knows now when he does hit or get too rough and I say NO NO honey, he instantly says NICE TO MOMMY - he's 22!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 8:58 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • What I do with my son who is 22 mo and has been pretty much broken of this habit.. Just keep grabbing the hand and saying no. Say no, thats owie, you hurt mommy and say it in a hurt voice. When its to people other than me, I say it very stern. If he continues doing it past a couple of nos, I tell him he is hurting me and I dont wnat to play with him if he is going to hurt me. Then I will go and work on something and ignore him. Sooner or later he will come to me and try to get me to play and Ill tell him I only play when hes being nice and owies are mean. He gives me a hug and a kiss then we go play.

    Answer by Kayere at 10:18 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Also, play fighting counts as exposure to this behavior. My son learne dit from daddy who likes to play around and wrestle and play hit. But my son did not understand play hit from mean hit. If someone is even just play hitting with yoru child, you child can think its playing and not realize they are being mean

    Answer by Kayere at 10:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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