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Am I lazy?

I need some input - I can't figure out whether I am lazy or justified in not getting much done. I am a SAHM with a 2 yr old. My DH works a full-time job at a call center. We get up every a.m. at 5:30 for my DH to work at 6:30, I feed my son breakfast, then we take a walk or play outside. Then I let him play while I do "other" stuff (pay bills, make phone calls, etc) or while I sit and have some tea. I make him lunch, then he's down for a nap. I usually spend his naptime on the computer (mostly on CM...). When he wakes up we play till DH gets home at 4. I do dishes, then I make dinner. I do all the shopping and the laundry. We have a SMALL apartment that gets cluttered really fast with a toddler running in it all day, so I am constantly picking up after him b/c if I didn't, we couldn't walk through the place. I try hard to do things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming, but I don't get to it often. I feel (con't)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • (OP con't) like I am lazy for wanting to spend my son's naptime as my "downtime", being on the computer or just relaxing, but I think that if I didn't, I might go crazy! Our apartment seems always "messy" to me (I leave dinner dishes to do the next day, I don't dust often, etc.) but I feel like I do so much that the time I do have to relax, I ough to take it... I am wondering how many of you feel "guilty" for not doing as much as you want to do, even though you take breaks for yourself? If I am being lazy, I want to fix it. But I want to know how what all I do measures up to what YOU all do...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I usually do the same at nap time. I think of it like this - most people get lunch breaks, so I should have one too! You need to be a sane mommy to be a good one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Sounds like you've got a pretty full plate as it is. I would not feel too bad about needing down-time. I say to you the same thing I have said to my mother numerous times.

    You have to take care of yourself if you want to take care of anyone else. If you are not around and healthy, then who is going to take care of the people you want to take care of? Hmmmmm?

    She now takes that time, and you should too.
    Dyssy

    Answer by Dyssy at 5:45 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • You are just fine.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:46 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Pick one day out of the week to be your cleaning day, theres no need to dust more than that..maybe on a weekend..if you and your hubby do it together then it will get done MUCH FASTER....as for bathrooms, same thing...it doesnt have to be done all in one day....do a bathroom, then get on the cpu, use ur down time as a "reward" for cleaning or something else....it wont be so bad if you dont look at it as one big chore...
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 5:48 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Nope, you are not lazy at all but I have all of those same thoughts. There are days I feel so guilty about being on CM, lol!
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 5:56 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I am lazy!  For 2 days straight now, I have sat on this stupid computer, playing that damn mahjong dimensions!  I loaded the dishwasher once yesterday & washed diapers & towels but only because I had to.  I did not fold them by the way.  What makes it worse is that my husband is laid off & home with me all day.  We both have a gaming problem....  OK, I'm the one with the problem, he is an enabler though.  He will let me get started on Fable or The Sims or something else & I'll be stuck there, neglecting everything for 4 or 5 days.  The kids are in school & instead of getting something, anything, done I sit on my ass.  You are not lazy. 

    carlye828

    Answer by carlye828 at 5:58 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • OP here - Thanks, everyone... I guess my main concern has been that my DH works so hard (he's been doing 45-55 hr weeks lately to make ends meet) but when he comes home and sees the dishes undone or that I am tired, he offers to do stuff (most of the time).... It makes me feel guilty, like I should've had it done before he got there. He doesn't seem to mind it being undone, and he tells me I do too much, but I still feel... lazy. Maybe its just me???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Nope you sound like me. but my kids are grown now..
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:00 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • I think you are very balanced. I am a sahm too and I do my dishes in the morning also because I prefer to spend the evening having fun with my kids and cooking. I feel more refreshed in the morning to do the dishes. You are not selfish for having down time. Yes I watch TV but I can walk away because there are butts that need to be wiped! lol I do it all! Balance.

    I always say that being a sahm is a different kind of job, easy sometimes and sometimes not, but its still a job. IT has its ups and downs and you get paid, not with money, but slobbery wet kisses. Though it comes naturally to me its still needs to be recognized as important work.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 6:01 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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