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For those that couldn't be with someone of another religion...

What happens if you marry someone that follows your religion. And then they decide it's not for them? Then what happens?

I have heard over and over on here that we shouldn't marry outside out faith. But many people (especially religious ones) marry young. Leaving years and years for them to convert to a different religion...

So, What do you do if this happens? Just devorce? That doesn't make sense...

Answer Question
 
SabrinaMBowen

Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 6:06 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 40 (122,988 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • pray.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • pray.
    --------------
    Amen!
    Lexylex

    Answer by Lexylex at 6:11 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Anon....what if your faith is not one that "prays" to begin with?
    Princessofscots

    Answer by Princessofscots at 6:13 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Well actually that happened in my case... My dh and I were both Lutheran... he was raised Catholic and converted to Lutheran for his first marriage and I was always Lutheran...
    I started questioning my beliefs yrs prior to meeting dh, but never told anyone... we have been married 8 yrs this past summer and 3 yrs ago I came out of the broom closet with him and told him of my beliefs as a Wiccan - Witch. It was a rocky begining bc he had NO idea (except those fairy tales told to you about the mean old witch) of what exactly Wicca/Paganism is about... after a few months of disagreeing, a few loud discussions...lol... and reading on his part... we now on a even grounds with our beliefs...
    If you have a bond with your spouse then everything is workable...
    I wasn't giving up on my marriage bc of religion nor was I giving up my beliefs...and it has worked out...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 6:13 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Well, from a Christian perspective, if I've exhausted all my efforts and prayers and my spouse has decided that he no longer believes in God, then it isn't unbiblical for us to get a divorce. DF knows that this would be the one and only reason I would divorce him. It might sound harsh but it does make sense if you are looking from the standpoint of a belief that says basically if you don't believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour then your one way ticket to Heaven has just been shredded. I would do everything I could to convince him otherwise and if I felt God was telling me to stay I would, but if I felt otherwise I would have to be obedient and get a divorce. If you were straight and you married under the pretense that your partner was as well and then ten years later he told you he was gay, wouldn't that be reasonable grounds for divorce? Would it make sense to stay after that? I know my answer won't be popular....
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 6:15 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • personally i don't see that happening but if it did i wouldn't give up on my marriage. i can still have my faith in my church and raise my kids in that same faith. it's his own salvation and not mine that he would have to deal with. i doubt that he would say that my kids should not attend and besides i wouldn't listen to him anyway. i get what i want around here regardless of our faith. the lord would hold each of us responsible for raising the kids in the faith and since i have been sealed to my husband for eternity i wouldn't give up on him just cause his convictions have changed. life wouldn't change much around our house.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:21 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Good point, Melody.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 6:23 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • My husband and I are close to the situation you described. We had the same beliefs and values when we got married (3yrs ago) and now while he still believes the same, he does not have the same types of morals and values that I have (which for me are tied into my religious beliefs). Without going into to many details, one of these things is porn - I don't believe its something that should be looked at he developed a porn addiction, & lied about it. It really tore at us for quite a while, and now 10months after he stopped looking at it & going to counseling, it still is affecting our marriage. Obviously we all make mistakes, but for me this is one of the things that I feel like if he had been faithful he would not have lied, or looked in the first place and we wouldn't be dealing with this. My beliefs include expectations of what should happen in a marriage & yes if those expectations are ignored or not met I might get divcorced
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 6:25 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • The husband I have now, I dont have to worry about. But if he did convert to another religion oh well, I will still love him.
    BIMOM21

    Answer by BIMOM21 at 6:30 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • What happens if you marry someone that follows your religion. And then they decide it's not for them? Then what happens?
    I would learn as much as i could about his newly chosen faith (if any).

    What do you do if this happens? Just divorce*?
    We would talk. And try to be understanding and accepting of each other. and NO. we would not get divorced. I believe that divorce is only acceptable under few circumstances. I'm traditional in that way i guess.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 6:35 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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