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i have a 10 yr old son and he does not help me out at all i think it's because he really doesn't care and i have to other children that is looking up to him so it's getting bigger problem for me so anyone out there that can give advice on how to get my son to help out around the house

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Asked by Jess.shine at 9:44 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (8)
  • Make a chore chart that includes all the kids(if you can). Use a sticker reward system, you can get stickers cheap at dollar tree and such and once he sees that, he will hopefully do better for you.

    Answer by SuperMomof3kids at 10:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • No chores? No TV, NO computer or internet, No video games, NO friends, No sports, NO going out. It IS that simple.

    Answer by vbruno at 10:59 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

  • Like Vbruno said, privileges need to be earned they should not be expected. If he wants to be a big boy he needs to act like a big boy and help around the house or no privileges.

    Answer by iluv2meow at 12:54 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • This is true.what they said above.

    Answer by incarnita at 7:27 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • childzilla dot com has resources available that have helped me. My son is 10 and also has been diagnosed as ODD which is a big issue in my house. Hope this helps.

    Answer by babygoose78 at 10:40 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • STOP doing anything for him. No washing clothes, no cleaning his room, no meals made. He can do it all on his own. Take everything out of his room but his bed and books. NO electronics, toys, games, etc. Take away all priveleges and tell him he has to earn everything back by doing his chores. NO siblings help him out either. When he learns to be respectful to his family and his responsibilities, he gets his stuff back.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:05 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I agree with vbruno as well as tyfry7496 somewhere along the line he never grasped the concept that family is a team effort and it times he learns if you want to get something you have to give something

    Answer by katiekruschke at 3:14 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • How old are the others? I am just curious because your question seems to separate him from the others and it made me wonder if they might have different fathers..... Of course I may really be reading too much into this (lol!). If there are any issues that make him "different" I would be cautious about how I handle this. If the family situation is not complicated, the situation is less complicated. Also, it is unclear what your expectations are. Are you expecting him to spontaneously know what kind of help you might need...or do you give him specific tasks. I think it is unrealistic to expect a ten year old to just know what to do....Ten is really young! What are you expecting from him? He is only a kid himself and it is important to remember that.....expectations should not be too high. If you treat him as an adult now, it will backfire in many different ways. Let him be a kid.

    Answer by BJoan at 11:22 AM on Oct. 11, 2009

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