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Called into the school today for something my stepson said to a classmate.

My stepson only sees his mother twice a week and they have a really rocky relationship. She dropped him off at school today and his friends asked who she was because they all think I am his mom. He explained that she was his mom and I was stepmom and then one asked why he didn't live with his mom and he said "Because I hate her and she is crazy and lazy and selfish and she doesn't love me" The duty teacher heard it and went and discussed it with his classroom teacher. I got called just so that she could tell me what had happened so that we could be aware and take appropriate action. But where the hell do I go from here? He has a lot of good reasons to feel that way, and lately, she has been doing a lot more disappointing than coming through for him, in nearly every way. My husband thinks that we should sit down with her and him and talk about it. What should we do?

Answer Question

Asked by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:57 PM on Oct. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,498 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Do you really have to do anything about it? If he truly feels this way, it is better that he expresses his anger. They really had no right to make that big of deal out of it. He was expressing his anger and rightfully so, I'd say. Just let him know that you are there and will always be when he truly needs someone. It's great that he has you.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Yes, he is the father of her child and he feels she is treating him wrong. and u are being the correct mom i would sit down with her with no hard feelings and let them discuss it and say what u feel needs to be said but dont try to start anything with her be respectful even if she isnt. good lcuk

    Answer by SweetiePieAfWf at 12:02 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • kids are kids they say their hurt,why are you gonna ask him about it,he said what he felt and i think thats ok.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 12:13 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I think that your husband, her son, and herself should talk...i think you taking the backseat will allow her to not feel resentful or jealous.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:20 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I'm wondering what the thinks you should do? He did nothing wrong, he said how he felt and how he saw things.
    Just make sure that you are there for him and that he can express how he feels and will not get punished.

    Answer by gammie at 12:22 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Sounds like a kid angry because he didn't get his way about something - none of things he said is really that inflammatory. I would certainly watch the situation a lot closer but as far as sitting down with him and her - you'd be putting him in a REALLY awkward position and probably alienate the trust that he has in you and DH - I wouldn't do it. I would however talk to him about it and see if there is anything that he wants to tell you or if there's something you need to know. Then go from there.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 12:28 AM on Oct. 2, 2009


    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 12:46 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I think I would just tell him that although he has every right to feel that way, home with you and dad would be a much healthier place to vent those feelings. Other than that I do not think that anything should be done. I really do not see where he did anything wrong. Actually it is great that he can express himself and not hold it all in.

    Answer by FL2AK at 2:51 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Children have a right to their own opinions & feelings so, as long as he was not verbatim repeating what he heard someone else say about his mother because he doesn't know any better, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him expressing his opinion and feelings about his own mother. Depending on his age, you & your DH may want to talk to him about his relationship with his mother and see if there is something you can do to support him & help him deal with his feelings in a productive way, but other than that, I would say that these are emotions he's going to have to work out in his own heart & in his own way. And, depending on your DH's relationship with his ex-wife, he may want to give her a head's up on what their son is feeling & that she might want to talk to DS about their relationship to help DS work through his anger, hurt, and feelings of abandonment.

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 10:08 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I agree with a lot of these ladies. I also hope you and or the father aren't saying bad things about his mother in front of him.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

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