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When is "Enough..Enough",what woud you do?

My 22 year old daughter & her boyfriend of 3 months decided to have ababy. Her 4th month of pregnancy the boyfriendwas gone and she moved back in. My grandson is 10 months old.She constantly lies about how bad it is at home,how cruel her father is and how I'm the craziest person she knows. Then when she gets caught she tells me I have issues and that I don't have the facts straight. Well 2 days ago I recv'd an email from my sister saying.. "By the way, be careful, she told her welfare people that you abused her, and you throw things at her and the baby, and the welfare people have paperwork to keep you away from her and the baby. When I asked her about this after I had heard this from Butch & Tami, she stated this was the ony way they could give her immediate housing when she was up her last."
This was a few months ago she did this yet she moved back in again. Now she moved back out due to the fact her lies caught up to her.

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Dovia

Asked by Dovia at 8:01 AM on Oct. 2, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I would say this is Enough Momma. It's gonna be hard knowing she's expecting, but she's still a grown woman - and you gotta be a momma of a grown woman - would you put up with this out of a dear friend? Likely not - she's manipulating, a constant liar and disrespectful all the while she's expecting you to take her in & take care of her - let her live in the mess she's created - the more you do now, the more you're hurting yourself with this. I know tough love can be hard (boy do I know) but when enough is enough - you gotta get tough and stick to it.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 8:09 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I would continue to support my child in anyway I could.

    I would try to talk to her about her lying and ask her if she would stop but most importantly I would listen to her and be there.

    It seems like she doesn't know what she wants if shes moving out and moving back in. She lied to get housing...maybe she thought you didnt want her around so she tried to get out as soon as ....but then when she was out she realized how lonely she was? I don't know..I don't know your daughter...

    All I know is that she once was a baby....and the way she acts and behaves is how she has learnt to deal with the world.

    I would just be supportive, be there, listen and help her anyway I could.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 8:23 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I would say that's enough also. Especially if she is lying to the authorities about you abusing them. That's a little scary. I wouldn't let her move back in. I would tell her that you're there to support her (not financially), but I would definitely not let her move back in. Tough love is very hard!
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 8:36 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • File for custody of that baby - she doesn't sound like a suitable mother. Then kick her ass to the curb.
    ourbabykins

    Answer by ourbabykins at 8:38 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Yup I would say enough. She's a grown woman who has made her own choices, you can't keep enabling her. I would also be worried about that grandchild
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:14 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • She sounds like she isn't mentally able to care for a child if she can't see this as wrong and this is truly going to affect the child in SO many ways. Has she always been this rotten?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:29 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • If you live in a state that recognizes the rights of grandparents, I would sue for custody. She seems to be focused on herself. She doesn't matter anymore. Your grandchild is the important person in this. My state doesn't recognize grandparents as having rights. I am not able to do anything about my granddaughter even though my ex-DIL is a complete loon. Only my son can.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 10:44 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Enough is never enough, be there for your daughter show her what great parents do, try to get to the bottom of what is happening, she does matter! ad so does the baby! parenting never stops, and should be there even more when in need.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:06 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like you are ion the same position my mother was in a while ago. I had really hurt her, and she decided to give me a second chance. Although it will be VERY rough, as it was for my mother, it is time to let her live her life. It will be scary on both sides, but if you're really worried for the child's sake, I would have to say contact your county for help. CPS is a very well known and very reliable source for help. i have been in contact with them two times. I would also like to say that their goal is not to take the child away, but to help the parent with the child and their needs. I am thankful for the help they provided both times, and the fact that both times they told me I was a wonderful single mother. Anyways, for you, I would have to say let her go. Allow her to do what she wants, and hopefully someday she'll be as thankful looking back on it as I am now, being able to stand steadily on my feet by myself.
    RWhite0608

    Answer by RWhite0608 at 11:49 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • The next time she needs to move I'd ask her where she's going to go? I wouldn't let her move back in with me. If she said lies the first time goodness knows what she'll say next time and you might end up in jail.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:57 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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