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How can i get my 6 yr old daughter to stop crying & whining about everything?

when she gets out the shower she cries. when shes getting dress for school she cries. if her younger brother talks to her she cries just about everything.. if she has done something wrong the waterfalls began.. someone help me

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jeya7

Asked by jeya7 at 10:47 AM on Oct. 2, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • Since she is six, I would give her a warning first by kneeling down to her, give her a tissue and tell her to calm down OR she can go to her room to calm down. When she is finished whining in her room, she can come out. IF you send her to her room promptly she may get the idea. This is what I did. Listen to mama or go to your room. Some things are non-negotiable.

    I have no idea why she would cry about her brother. I think I would be more understanding to her. Having siblings is hard sometimes.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 11:02 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • One more thing...is she in school? Because I tell my daughter to talk to me like she would her teachers, with respect. You dont whine in school so please dont do it at home. GL
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 11:05 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I would def consider her age and the fact that shes a girl. I have a daughter and girls can be whiny. I would sit down with her and talk to her about why she is so upset. If it is genuine that is. Sometimes kids need to talk and getting to the root of her frustrations may help you find a solution. Punishing her everytime will not stop the whining, It may just make it worse.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:06 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Ignore it.

    i know that sounds WAY too simple, but just give her the silent treatment. she may get mad and want to know why you're not talking to her- but as long as you do not give in, in any way, she will eventually get the idea.
    we went through this with DD when she was 4-5. it was HORRIBLE, but she did stop. it's a lot harder on you to ignore it, than it is for her to change her behavior.
    i do remember having to tell DD a couple of times that "i will not speak to you or pay attention to you until you are calm, and your eyes are dry, and your voice is normal." and i didn't, i simply pretended as though i did not hear her. it worked. not saying that it does for every child, but its worth a try.

    you will get flack from some people about it, i know i did, but the end result was that DD had to learn other ways to communicate, and she doesn't resort to those tactics anymore

    good luck! i know its draining.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:06 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • my step daughter wrote the book on whining, when she was this age, I told her that all little girls do this to a point but they all grow out of it at age ( fill in the blank)
    she was 7 when she was really whinie and I told her that she will out grow it at 8. I mentioned this alot, her 8th birthday was coming up and I kept telling her that at 8 it will all stop and she will still not want to do things and get upset, and will not always get her way but she will be able to express in words what she wants, dislikes and be able to communicate without whining, because she has such a great vocabulary and she is so smart. I was trying to set up a self fullfilling prophecy and for the most part it worked
    boredmom44

    Answer by boredmom44 at 11:16 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Hope things are getting better with your daughter. I agree with a previous responder who said you should talk to her. I'm sure that you already did this, but just be sure there is nothing wrong with your daughter. Has something happened that upset her, made her feel uncomfortable? I would want to talk to her about her behavior, asking her to explain why she is crying. "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer. She does know how she feels, what she is thinking, what she hopes to get from this behavior. Help her to articulate her feelings. Once they are exposed, you can help her to find a more acceptable manner of expressing herself. And more importantly, you will know that there is not some real issue behind this behavior. I believe that in talking with her, you are validating her...not her behavior, but her person.
    SharonFuhrman

    Answer by SharonFuhrman at 11:17 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Well I'd need to know what your reactions are now to really help you. The first thing I do is I acknowledge her feelings. ALL of us want to whine sometimes. Then I give my kids (10,9, 7) a time limit. "You can whine for 60 seconds and then you'll need to do what you were asked" Or if it's something they need to cry about "If you need to cry more then 60 seconds please take it to your room. I want to fix it for you but I can't so please take it to you pillow".

    Remember you need to empower her to learn how to deal with disappointment. Give her full confidence that you know SHE can work out her feelings.

    Marian Hobson
    www.urcalm.com
    www.growingbyfaith.com
    calmmarian19

    Answer by calmmarian19 at 12:41 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Sorry to be a post hogger lol but I forgot a very important part to my response. I was not saying to shut her off. After she calms down and comes out of her room, then its definitely ok to talk. I was trying to say dont respond to the wining but absolutely do respond to her when she calmly can talk to you. It will teach her that you are reacting to her words not her whining.

    Maybe I am thinking too much into it but maybe she finds whining helps draw your attention to her and away from her brother.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 2:15 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

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