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I am thinking about asking my husband for a divorce. What should be my first step?

I have been married to my husband for almost 12 years. We have a daughter together and I have a son who is 15 from a previous marriage. My son was 3 years old when we got married. Almost from the beginning my husband has not accepted my son like a step father should. My son has tried to get his love but somehow my husband just never wanted to consider him as his own or even treat him nice. My husband goes out of his way to not include my son as part of the family in the past few years. I am fed up and want out. What steps should I take to protect my finances etc. ? I really need some advice from someone who has been there. Thank you.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Oct. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Good for you for leaving him. Your children should always come first. Contact a lawyer to find out your legal options. They will be the best people to ask since every state varies.

    Good Luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Call your joint credit cards and tell them you lost your wallet and to cancel your cards so he can't charge a bunch of stuff you might be responsible for. Tell him you did it after so he doesn't get arrested using the cards.

    Take all the money out of joint accounts before filing.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:35 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I just went through a divorce this year as well. It was rather amicable though and we were able to accomplish it without lawyers. I would suggest saving up to have at least 6 months rent handy prior to moving or asking him to move. Technically if you try to secretly stash money and not use it while youre married he has a right to the money as wekk. So get yourself a place before you file.

    Answer by munch12502 at 11:35 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • The thing is I have already asked him to leave and he does not have any where to go. His parents live in a one bedroom apt. and he does not have any friends that are not my friends so.... Oh and I am laid off!

    Answer by lindajoan at 11:40 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Get temporary full custody, then as things progress you guys can work on the custody issues.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 11:41 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Talk to a divorce lawyer first and get some real advice!

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 11:45 AM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Well then after reading your additional post I think the first place to start is the planning and negotiating stage. He needs time to get a place to live and you need time to find a job. Decide which bills you will be responsible for and which ones he will. Do a Parenting Plan for the dd (samples are online, just google it). Work out all the hard stuff and then find a lawyer. If you agree on everything then you will only need one lawyer in most states. You have to have at least one lawyer if a child or real estate is involved in most states so DIY divorces are not allowed in those cases.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:04 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

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