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would you still go? or tell them to find someone else?

ok, me and dh have a cousin (his side of the fam.) who met this girl in dec. and right after x-mas purposed to her. she accepted. and dh is suppose to be a grooms men, which is fine! they went and tried on tuxes like back in feb. when their wedding was set for fall...and they have changed the date like 3 times. during this time since march and now his cousin and fiance have not spoken to us, we all kinda had a falling out (long story, i will tell his you ask). they never mentioned anymore plans to us and we just assumed dh wasnt in the wedding anymore. i just got a txt message a couple mins ago from the fiance saying dh needed to be up early tomorrow morning to drive 60 miles to get fitted for a tux AGAIN! dh works midnight shift and does not have weekends off (he has wed.-thur.) and keep in mind they have not spoken to us AT ALL! they dont know what to do b/c their wedding party fell apart and they have no one. CONTD.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Oct. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I would let him decide if he wants to be in it after he speaks with them. If he has to work then he can go get fitted on his day off. Tehy dont all have to go together. He can get fitted in your town and the shop he goes to can give him his measurements and he can all them in to where the tuxes are coming from. He does not have to drive an hour for that!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:08 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • ::OP:: contd. she has pretty much lost all of her bridesmaids and the ones she does have, have not even ordered their dresses! and im not sure about him...but shoulod we even bother with him getting a tux and being there? we havent even recieved an invite or anything!!! like i said she just texted me a couple of min ago saying HE HAD to be up in the morning to get fitted. dh is sleeping right now, and i am going to tell him about it and see what he says, but personally i dont even think we should care! or even waste our gas & money! what do you ladies think?
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 3:04 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • omg I ALWAYS forget to hit anon lol
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 3:05 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • y'all need to make a phone call & ask in a very friendly manner "whats the deal" very nicely tell them that since they have not contacted y'all in so long that you thought the is not in the wedding. There needs to be some verbal communication. Let them know that he is not prepared, & tell them that you will have to get back w/ them about it. Definitley be the bigger person & make a phone call.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:07 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • no prob, at least your not talking about something TMI...lol! Then that would be funny!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:08 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Family is weird but since they never came out and told that I would still do it. You even said that you both assumed so. You should never assume.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I disagree. And of course it all hinges on WHAT the fall out was all about - I mean was it so bad that you're willing to make the statement "We are not going to be supportive of you two spending your lives together". Some things do make for life-long grudges - so the question is; is what ever happened worthy of that? If it is - then no, I guess you should go ahead and break all ties with them now - because if you ditch family on their wedding - you're sending a very strong message. It it isn't worthy of a life-long grudge, then suck it up - resign to resolve everything either before the wedding or wait until their lives have settled down some and then resolve it. It sounds like they are screwing this thing up left and right - but that doesn't mean that you automatically write them off. Be careful with your decision and try not to make it our of pride or anger - Good luck to you and to your cousin.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 3:11 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • we dont have a place in our town to get fitted..so he would have to drive that far. i told her that once he wakes up that i would let him know, and see what he says. but like i said we havent even recieved an invitation so i dont even know if im invited!
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 3:20 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Skipping their wedding says that you do not plan on being a part of their lives anymore. I'd have DH call his cousin and let him know he can't make it to the fitting with such short notice and ask if he can reschedule.

    They obviously still want you to be a part of their special day, the right thing to do would be to go and be happy for them.

    What was the falling out about?
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 3:22 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • i mean its not like we havent tried to be in contact with them this whole time. they wernt there for our wedding, or our baby shower..or anything WE did with the whole family! so i just feel like im stuck b/c now they really need people to fill their wedding party and i feel like they are using dh as a last resort! our problem started when his cousin got fired from his job (we all work for the state) and he started doing drugs BIG TIME again. we helped her out as much as possible b/c they had just got a house and she was the only source of income. well me and dh ended up getting pregnant and idk, everything just fell out from there, she got baby fever really bad, and i think she got really jelous b/c i had the famlies support and everyone was excited and forgot about her. everyone told her to wait to get preg. (including me). we all said to wait until after the wedding! shes preg now and has nothing
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 3:35 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

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