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my 3 year old is out of control..what do I do????

Help! my son is 3 years old, and I just had another baby boy 6 weeks ago, and I am about to loose my mind! my 3 year old does not listen, he screams at me, hits me, runs from me,talks back, and DOES NOT LISTEN TO A WORD I SAY!!!!!!! its like the kids you see on tv...I have tried EVERYTHING from time out..to getting spanked...nothing works, he is so stubborn he is convinced he WILL win the battle and if he dont get his way, all hell breaks loose...and bed time is a nightmare, I dont know how much more I can take! someone please help!!!!!!!!!!

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jmemomof2

Asked by jmemomof2 at 7:13 PM on Oct. 2, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • was he like this before the new born?? if not you have to find a way for him to get along with the new born...
    mellyhayes

    Answer by mellyhayes at 8:14 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • It sounds like he's regressing/reacting to the birth of the baby. It's totally normal. Try to get him to be your helper whenever possible and if you can, have someone else take care of the baby for a bit so you can spend some one on one time with him. Hang in there!
    twinclubmom

    Answer by twinclubmom at 8:36 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • i agree. make him your little helper. talk to him about how important it is that he is a big brother now. That as the baby grows, the baby will want to be more like brother. ask him to grab the wipes for you, or the diaper rash medicine. Also, if you are FFing, you could have him sit for a few minutes feeding his new baby sibling. If you are breastfeeding, you could pump and let him help feed on occasion.

    Still, when he misbehaves you have to be firm and consistent. Try to give him choices, "you can either (fill in what you told him to do here) OR you could spend some time in time out" ...or even when he is not misbehaving, give him some choices "would you like cereal or eggs this morning for breakfast" then top it off with , "would you like to help me make breakfast?" giving him that option of control is super important. Especially because he is at a time where he feels like he has lost control (hence his acting out).
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 9:03 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • watch the happiest toddler on the block
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • 3's are tough with boys. Mine is now turning 4 and FINALLY getting easier!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Your son sounds exactly like my gs, including the hitting and throwing things. We eventually found it was his SUGAR intake. Now he gets unsweetened products..and we limit his ketchup as well...The difference in this child was incredible. Maybe check that out too. Good Luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • It sounds like he has a lot on his little plate. So kids adjust to the new baby really easily, so do not. I would be as consistent as possible when disciplining him. I would also make some special "mommy and big brother time" for him, even if it is just a trip to the grocery store - "you get to go with mommy, but your brother has to stay home." and get a treat if he listens. My oldest was very difficult from 1.5 - 4.5 because he lacked the verbal skills to get his point across on anything. He would get frustrated and take it out on all of us. I have heard that "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" is a good resource. You can also ask your ped.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:44 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I agree with a pp, try to elicite his help, not with the baby at first but with little stuff, like grabbing the dustpan. Slowly add more and more things he can do because he is a big boy. I have my DD feed the dogs, she scoops the food into the dish, not the least messy chore in the house, but an opportunity to know it's okay to make a mess, and it's okay to help clean it up. My DD was resentful of our new baby also, and I decided to wear the new baby in a sling, its made a world of difference. Having my hands free to read a book, or color, or play games or get something for her is so helpful. My DS in now 8 months old, and is able to interact and respond to her, it's made the outrageous behavior stop. I also told her what was and what was not acceptable, and helped her work out how she could have behaved differently to get what she wanted. Involving her instead of just telling her made more of a difference in behavior
    Cheapsk8mom

    Answer by Cheapsk8mom at 10:32 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

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