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What would you do?...A life or death question...

I'm diabetic. Have been for 14 years. And I have a great man in my life, and 4 wonderful kids, ages 15, 14, 13 and 1. The 13 yo and 1 yo are biologically mine.

Two weeks ago, we found out we were expecting again, and we were excited about it...until this past week when a perinatal nurse gave me a warning that the dr is concerned for my kidneys and their functioning during and after this pregnancy. She told me that this coming week when I meet with the dr, to prepare myself because I may be told that I need to choose between my health or terminating this pregnancy.

I'm devastated! How can any mother choose? Of course I want to be healthy for my children that are here with me now, but this "baby's" heart is already beating...

All is riding on results from some labs that I had done this past week. If they come back okay, then I have nothing to worry about, but if they come back poor, I have a very difficult choice

Answer Question

Asked by jdrae13 at 8:43 PM on Oct. 2, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 6 (131 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I'm not looking for any arguments, or pity, just wondering what you think you would do if you were in this situation.

    Answer by jdrae13 at 8:49 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • Many many women have gone through life and death high risk pregnancies. I would never terminate to save myself. If your doc isn' comfortable with your choice, have him refer you to a doc that specializes in high risk pregnancies. I hope everything turns out ok!

    Answer by peppermintmocha at 8:50 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • i would definitely get a second opinion! perhaps a 3rd. then i'm not sure if i would terminate or not... i guess it would depend on the risks to my health. like if it was a good chance i would die, i would definitely terminate the pregnancy. best wishes. i hope everything turns out ok.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • personally I would not be able to terminate. I just carried a pregnancy to term knowing it put my own life in danger because of several bad hernias, and my intestines could knot in them. It ended up in stillbirth (no reason can be found for it) 2 days before my due date, but if I had it to do all over again I would make the same decision.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 9:04 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I would change to a high risk OB/GYN if they say you are. I personally would not be able to terminate a pregnancy but could very well understand someone chosing that route. I would see what the high risk doc has to say if the tests come back that you need it.

    Answer by valerie0103 at 9:06 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I was diagnosed with a serious heart problem after the birth of my 4th baby. I was told not to get pregnant again, because the strain of a pregnancy & all that goes with it could kill me. Well...even though we were preventing it, we got pregnant again. I had multiple appointments with my cardiologist, stayed with my same midwife (she was fine keeping me on as long as my cardiologist said everything was going well heart-wise). I did absolutely nothing to strain my heart - literally no house work, and what I did do was extremely slow going. I gave birth to my son and everything was fine. I would not have aborted my baby, even though I could have died. Your situation is different health-wise, and I have no idea what all goes with it, so it's hard for me to say what I'd do in your shoes...I do not believe in abortion, I'd stay pregnant and make sure to have extra appointments with the necessary doctors to monitor my health. GL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • i would get about 2 ,3 or 4 opinions.if i was in your situation being that i look at it as you do that the baby has a heart beat.being that its my child there health comes 1st and i would keep the pregnancy.I will pray for you and i hope everything works out for the best for you.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 9:19 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • i would continue my pregnancy.....god allowed u to gt pregnant for a reason....yes u have other children but why terminate a pregnancy if u could husband already knows....its the baby over me...i have a clotting disorder and everythime i have had a child i lost over half my blood volume.....i knew the risks of me having children but i have lived...they havent...they deserve a chance....but it is ultimately your of luck.....whether you keep the baby or what u think is right...

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 9:52 PM on Oct. 2, 2009

  • I agree to get multiple opinions on this one, and also to go to a high risk doctor. I can't imagine having to face this choice, but if it were me (and this is only me) I would choose to keep the pregnancy. I couldn't willingly terminate my pregnancy for an "if" factor...ya know? I believe that God has a plan for all of us, born and unborn. Pray on it and good luck

    Answer by 0twinsmommy6 at 1:13 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I transfered to a high risk OB when pregnant with my son. I have some heart problems. My original doc told me over and over (in one appointment) to the point I was in tears that I had to "terminate" or I could die. I told her NO each time. I did end up almost dying when 35 weeks pregnant, but DS and I pulled through that. I made it through that pregnancy, went on to have my daughter, and now I'm pregnant again with no issues thus far. That doctor was the one who delivered my daughter, and you should have seen the look on her face when she opened my file as saw "Does not want to see Dr *insert name*" with an explanation of why on the top of the file. High risk OBs really watch you closely, and will be able to take care of you and baby. Just be sure to mind your health throughout the pregnancy as well. Good luck!

    Answer by laird6372 at 4:58 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

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