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Im a single mom of a 3 year old boy. His dad was WAY abuseive to me and I left him when my mom was 8 months old and moved out-of-state...hes made no attempt to contact us (which is great)...I havent been with anyone since I left him. I feel guilty and dont want to put him through the whole "step-dad" thing....and the in laws...of course if I meet the PERFECT guy, I'll take t SLOW and be SURE, he'll be a great male role model but I wont bring my son around him until we are super serious. I have no problem being single, do you thnk im doing my son a diservice my purposefully NOT seeking a potential male role model ??? I do not go out, or date...kinda on purpose...why? He needs a man in his life at some point right? Or what??? Help? Stay single??? Try and date?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I have 3 sons. My second husband and I separated when I was pregnant with the youngest. I choose not to date. He is now 21. I am very glad I never dated!

    Answer by Gailll at 1:33 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • do what is best 4 u and ur son. if he is a good guy then why not introduce them. i didnt introduce my son to my bf till we were talking about moving in together. he is a great role model to my son and it has been great.if he makes u happy then go for it plently of kids grow up fine with just a mom but a dad would be great too

    Answer by monroemommyof2 at 12:53 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • not at all, you'd be doing him a greater disservice bringing too many guys around him! i know this girl with 2 children and she brought a man she wasnt serious about around them a few times and they asked about him for like 4 months

    Answer by pookipoo at 12:56 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • As a single mom, I struggled with the same question. It was very hard for me, because I very much wanted to get married and have another child. The hard part is finding a man who not only floats your boat, but understands fully that your son is part of the package. I used to say, "Before you try and get serious with me, think about how good of a stepdad you will be."
    Once I knew I really liked a guy, I had my son make the final decision. He was never wrong. I asked my son's opinion quite a bit. He just wanted mumma to be happy, and he knew right away if someone wasn't making me happy, or if he didn't dig him at all.
    You have to know how bad you want to date. Your son will be fine with just you, and he'll be fine with someone else. If you're lucky, your son will be the final decision! : )

    Answer by mumma28 at 1:00 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • ugh, thank you guys so much, i totally respect these great anwsers...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I am a single mom, too. My divorce from my ex-husband (who is both of my sons father) was final when my youngest son was 20 days old. He is 6 yrs old today. During the last 6 yrs, I have dated 2 men, one for about 2 months, the most recent for 5 and I just broke up with him b/c he is nuts, literally. My sons only met the first guy I dated, and only b/c he was actually my friend both before and after we dated, my sons never even knew we were romantically involved. Most of the time, I don't date. I'm comfortable with my life the way it is. If you feel the same way, there is nothing wrong with that. If you feel you want someone in your life romantically, there is nothing wrong with that either. You have to do what you feel is best for you and your child, and if someone else disagrees, the best response is to look at them and say, "Well, guess it's a good thing it's my life and not yours, isn't it?" with a pretty smile. :)

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:45 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • You are doing the right thing by keeping your son out of your social life. Too many pedafiles prey on single moms, and sorry but boys are being molested in higher numbers then girls these days.
    Keep a close on on all men and if they get mad because they can't see your son right away, that would be a warning sign.
    Take your time and you can teach your son things that a man would.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • You have to feel ready to date and if you meet the right man you will know it. I did not let my kids meet my ex-boyfriend right away. You don't need a man to be a role model. A father,brother,or uncle can be one.

    Answer by seashore29 at 11:42 PM on Oct. 16, 2009