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TTC - Wanting to - but DH isn't sure - HElP?

Here's the thing. We're older and he has no children of his own. He comes from a family of only two children; his sister has no children either. We've talked about having a child, but I had my tubes tied years ago - and they can't be undone. So our only shot is IVF and we found out that our insurance will cover it. But DH is uncertain. He doesn't want to put me through "anything bad" (as he called it) and he's worried about our ages. I'm 40 and he's 41. He's also worried that as much as he works that it wouldn't be fair to a child for it's dad to not be around.
Truthfully, I'm heartbroken at the thought that he maybe don't want a child at all (I happen to think everyone who can be a good parent, should be . And he definitely would be, he's the most sweet, gentle, loving, kind, supportive, incredible person I've ever known.
I don't know what to say without sounding like I'm pressuring him, and I don't want to do that. Help?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • don't let age be a factor, if you two want a child, then go for it. I am 39 and pregnant with baby #4. My son's pediatritian did not have her first child until she was 40 and her 2nd at 42.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • talk to him parents do it all the time they work to provide for there kids. i am sure he knows he will be a good dad but my mom is 40 and i know she is set in her ways and having another baby would throw that off. esp since she has 3 grand kids and that would be weird lol. i am 23 my bro is 22 and my other bro is 18 so having a baby at 40 would not be good for her but if it works for ur family then go for it sounds like he just needs a little convincing.

    Answer by monroemommyof2 at 1:18 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • You only live once girl! Convince him! you two deserve a baby!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Just two thoughts....

    1. Don't try to conceive unless you're both absolutely 100% sure that you want kids.

    2. Have you thought about adoption?

    Answer by Mousuke at 8:47 AM on Oct. 3, 2009