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If I never married my children's father (we were only engaged) does that mean I have full custody, or is it still joint?

My children's father and I recently broke up. I asked him very nicely to not introduce his new woman to the children until they were really serious, and he's fighting me on it. He's lying a lot and I just can't trust him. I want to legally be able to tell him that she can't be around when he has them, but can I do that??

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Asked by wirelessbubbles at 5:59 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • No the children are just as much his as they are yours. Joint custody is what you two have and until you go to court and try and change that he has ever right to bring whomever around the children as he wants. No matter if you agree with it or not. GL hope everything works out for you...

    Answer by raemommy at 6:39 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • i agree with rae....and even then if you go to court to ask a judge to get full custody just because you dont like the gf or something of that nature the judge will throw it cannot control who your ex is with at any point unless you fear they will hurt the child, no matter what your ex has as much right to your daughter as you do....

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 6:51 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • NOPE - sorry guys, it depends on the state
    In Florida a single mom has assumed full custody, in Virginia it is assumed joint custody.
    Check in to your state laws, and file for custody and visitaiton arrangement at the court

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:32 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • It depends on your state laws since you weren't married, but i'll tell you right now, unless you can prove the GF is abusing the children you will NOT be able to keep him from bringing her around. you can ask for a morality clause, meaning no one unrelated of the opposite sex can spend the night until married, but that will go both ways, and you wont be allowed to have any future BF spend the night when the kids are around either. And even then, he can still bring the GF around the kids all day long if he wants just so long as she leaves by 8pm or whenever the clause states.

    Really, unless you can prove abuse, it's not a fight you want to start with him because you will lose. The way the court sees things, you can't tell him what to do on his time with the kids, and you lost that right when you broke up. You'll be seen as controlling and overbearing, and could risk custody that way.

    Answer by Pudge_Pie20 at 8:14 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • No, even if you have court papers where you have legal primary custody, when they are with him, you don't have a say in who he brings around. They are HIS kids just as much as they are yours.


    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:55 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • A child out of wed-lock means the mother has the rights and the say so and if the man wants a right to anything then he has to go to court and get it on paper

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

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