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Out of control! How can I stop them?

I'm a single mother living with my Grandmother. My 2 kids are shared by the 3 of us. Myself, Grandma and their Dad, so... each one of us have different rules. The kids are terribly confused and on the verge of being out of control sometimes. Grandma refuses to discipline, and at dad's they have free range to be wild am i wrong for wanting some control and structure in their lives? The kids are 6 and 4. Any suggestions or tips on how to settle things down and get them to listen when everyone else is telling them "do whatever"


Asked by Anonymous at 7:33 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Ive lived with my parents since my daughter was born and she just turned 15 so I know exactly how you feel. First I have to tell you that you need to either be firm with mom and tell her that she needs to let you be thier mom and stop undermining your authority or they will never listen to you...second tell dad he either needs to step up, be a dad rather then letting them run wild or they will play the but dad lets me and want to move there. they may all hate you for it but trust me you do not want to be where I am now and having to deal with not only teenage rebellion but also teenage rebellion with grandparents sitting there telling you to lighten up in front of the kids when your trying to set down the law...good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • As they get older the multiple rules will be easier for them to grasp, but in the meantime, its going to be very hard. Consitancy is going to be the only help for when they're with you. You, of course, can try to get some things inforced from grandma and their dad, but it doesn't sound like you all are going to totally agree--- maybe, if you can pick just one or two highly problimatic things, maybe, just maybe dad and grandma will back you.

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 8:18 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • tell them youre the mom! they can dick around anywhere else if theyre allowed, but when mommys 'round, tjhey better shape up! just enforce yourself, but not harshly, of course, yet firm.

    Answer by evilive at 9:11 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Let grandmom put rules in her house, like don't touch this don't run in the house. and when your not home. but when you are home tell grandmom. that your home now. and that when your home you can take over because after all they are you children. and as for you and their dad you two

    have to get together and talk about what rules your going to give your children. and stick to them.
    I mean when you say this to them say it nice don't say it angry.

    Answer by incarnita at 10:15 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • If it is at all possible, all 3 of you need to sit down and get the rules straight between you. Make sure you are all on the same page with the same discipline. It isn't about you, or grandmother, or dad. It is about the kids and only the kids. This isn't a time for any of you to try to "get your way" or not let the other get theirs because, well, you don't like him. It is about the kids and only the kids. Be the adults and get this straight. It is too important.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 10:41 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Stay firm and consistent and things will fall into place. Be sure to let everyone involved that you are the.....MOM

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • "spare the rod spoil the child". you must discipline them. If they disobey your laws when they get older they will disobey bigger laws. It is better you discipline them then the police having to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Oct. 3, 2009