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how many parents would get onto there child for this?

my DD 13 takes her cell phone to school for emergancies only. well yesterday at school she was texting during lunch, and she got her phone taken away from the school and 3 days of ISR. when they sent her to the office they said her shirt was to revealing and made her change into a top they gave her. well i went up there and got her phone. i didn't think her shirt was revealing at all. she has wore worse up there and they not say a thing about it. well i gave my DD her phone back and my boyfriend, and my DS 15 says i'm being to soft on her. i don't think she did wrong it was during lunch. it's her free time. so i didn't punish her at all. she is a really good girl. the boy she was texting was in the same school, and in class and he didn't get in trouble. do yall think i'm being to soft on her this was her first time getting in trouble in school ever.

 
okc-mom-2

Asked by okc-mom-2 at 10:41 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (76)
  • no way. i dont think your being too soft at all. lunch is her free time, if she wants to text while she eats, big deal! shes not distracting any students or being disrespectful to a teacher. and i would really like to see what they consider too revealing now with what all girls her age are whereing. shes just a kid anyway. shes not going to be perfect and what she did is really not a big deal. theyre probably just trying to make an example out of her or something. just let her know she needs to be more careful and dont let them see her texting.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:49 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Free time doesnt mean anything if the school took her phone away. School is school and you both have to respect their rules. If this is her first offense then I dont feel that punishment is necessary. A solid warning is enough for now. But warn her there will be consequences in the future if she disobeys. As far as the shirt goes I would just tell her to wear it at home and on the weekends.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:47 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • If she had been texting in class, I'd see it differently. She was on her lunch period. No, I would not punish her. Well, maybe. I guess it depends. Is it a KNOWN rule of the school that you are not to do it? I mean if she broke the rules, and KNEW she was doing so, she should be in some sort of trouble for not following rules. And if her clothing went against the dress code, then I guess she should be reprimanded for that as well. As far as would it bother ME, no, probably not, but I don't want her thinking it's ok to break the rules. This is a tough one.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 10:50 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • a lot of schools don't consider lunch a free time, they are still at school where cell phone use by students is prohibited...it's not a good rule but thats just what it is and both parent and student should follow it.
    colesmommy2009

    Answer by colesmommy2009 at 10:56 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • no way. i dont think your being too soft at all. lunch is her free time, if she wants to text while she eats, big deal! shes not distracting any students or being disrespectful to a teacher. and i would really like to see what they consider too revealing now with what all girls her age are whereing. shes just a kid anyway. shes not going to be perfect and what she did is really not a big deal. theyre probably just trying to make an example out of her or something. just let her know she needs to be more careful and dont let them see her texting.
    -----
    so wat your saying is that she should tell her child to disobey the rules and try not to get caught next time? good one!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I happen to agree with steph19. sorry ladies.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 11:01 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Children have to first learn the rules of the home and respect those. Then they have to be taught that they must submit to the authority of whomever is in charge of them or over them. That means teachers, coaches, school administrators, bosses, and everyone else. Your child is at the age where she should be learning that she has to obey the rules of the school even though she may not like them and even if her parents disagree with those rules. By agreeing with her that the shirt was okay, you are in a sense saying that the school does not have a right to make its own rules. That attitude is likely to appear again in regards to other rules that she doesn't like. The same is true with her phone. School time is really not "her" time, even if she is on lunch break. She is still under the authority of the school while she is there. You would have been better served long term to have backed the school instead of her.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:01 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I also agree with anon. If you take her side just because of how you feel then you're teaching her to disobey authority. If her phone is used only for emergencies and shes already gone further then she is also disobeying you. But still a warning isgood for this time.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:05 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I would say that you need reinforce the idea that rules are rules and they shouldn't bent just because we don't like them or agree with them. You're really undermining the school's authority by telling her it's not a big deal even though it might not be the worst thing she does in the world. I would say you could give it back with a warning, "if you get caught again, even during lunch, then I'm taking it for a week." or something along those lines.
    As far as the shirt goes, again, school rules are school rules and you should abide by them. They are there for a reason even if we don't understand them or agree with them. It's their school and they're the boss. Support them, they have a hard job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • They have phones in school, so she doesn't need to bring a cell phone for emergencies. And if the school says her shirt is inappropriate, it really doesn't matter what you think of it. She doesn't have free time in school...just because it's lunch. Free time starts when she leaves school.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 11:10 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

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