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What type of guy do you have in your life?

Mine is self absorbed. We have been together for 6 years and no family memories for the kids to fall back on. I have 3 teens from my first marriage and a 5 yr old with my current husband. On weekends he leaves for 2 days go to the "shack" and does as he pleases. He gets mad when he comes back and all I have to say about my weekend is it was the same as any other day of the week. Kids, cleaning and laundry. No breaks! No weekends away! He blames me because we live in "town" (pop.622) He says there's too many people around and likes the country. A town of 622!!! too many people?
I'm just fed up. He won't spend time with any of us and wonders why my kids give him a cold shoulder. Like having a job should make it worthy enough to have his ass kissed!
I talk to him about my feelings, but it's just one excuse after another.
I'm so shut down on the inside. My feelings turned off. I have too if I'm going to stay married.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I have an amazing husband. He has been my support system through so much. I think the thing that I love the most is that he loves me as I am. I have very high goals for myself and am very ambitious. Most men would run from that. I travel for work about 4 times a year and he thinks nothing of taking time off of his job and staying at home with the kids. My husband has supported me and kicked my butt through college. When I met him I only had 2 years of college. I am now a Ph.D student because he does whatever it takes for me to make the time for my education. He is very nurturing with me and our kids. We have the same goals in life and are truly each others best friend.  I think the only fault he has is that he loves toys.  Big and expensive ones. 


    Answer by FL2AK at 6:05 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • why do you want to stay married to someone like him? you dont have family who will help you out so you can get away from this scumbag and start over?

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:02 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Try seperating and let him see what he's losing. Its worth a shot. GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:02 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • OP here~

    I do not have anybody that will help me out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • You don't need someone to help you out. You're an adult and a parent. Either have him removed, or you leave. Or you just continue to put up with it. And your kids DO have memories they'll fall back on.....but they won't be pleasant. Remember what you do teaches your kids how they should be as adults. Kids mimic what they see/learn. You're teaching them what to expect/accept within their own adult relationships.

    Answer by EireLass at 11:13 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Concerning my above message, I just re-read it, and I think it didn't come across quite as I intended. I meant absolutely no disrepect to the OP, sorry if it seems like that. When I said it will be an effort, I didn't mean that you aren't already making the effort, I meant that it may mean conscious thinking about it, in case you don't already. I sincerely hope that I didn't offend.

    Answer by Bmat at 11:14 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • OP, that sounds like an excuse to me. Women make them all the time when they're in a bad relationship. You can do something. Your children are older... you could get a job and start saving to move out. It won't be easy, but it would be better than staying with a man who neglects you.

    You could suggest counciling. Tell him that you're contemplating divorce because he doesn't help you and doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself, and that if he wants to save his marriage and family he needs to stop being so self absorbed and go with you to counciling.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:15 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I just got out of a relationship with an alcoholic... that was the kind of guy I had in my life for a couple of years. I think that if you are unhappy and it looks like you have a reason to be, then you should seperate for a while and see if that helps or go to counseling. You only live once and you should be happy!

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 11:39 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • OP here~

    I like the support but I still haven't gotten a response as to the question of what kind of guy everyone has in their lives :>)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Mine is a self center narcissistic passive-aggressive sociopath who thinks of no one but himself but I think he's a peach. lol It's taken me years to be able to understand and accept him as he is. It's not easy because I'm the type that needs attention and he's the type that refuses to give it unless he's getting something out of it. So we just work around things to make the puzzle work. It truly makes things interesting because of all the challenges. I will admit my kids are grown and gone so there is no emotional damage done to the kids over his self centered nature (my children are not his) so that is different from your situation. If you can tolerate it then just accept it and tell the kids "that's just the way dad is" so they don't think it's about them. Have you tried moving to the country like he wants?

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:20 PM on Oct. 3, 2009