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Trying to find info about foster parenting

I posted a question about this earlier this week but only got two responses, so I am posting again in hopes I might get more. We want to foster parent but all we hear are horror storys about kids who are violent and kids who's parents decide at the last min to not let them be adopted. Does anyone know any good storys, or are perhaps foster parents/were foster kids themselves and can give the good and the bad together?

 
auroura

Asked by auroura at 11:45 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (39 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I was foster child and I WASNT VIOLENT however I was not a child who was eligible fro adoption. And at times I could be rather challenging. I was pretty well behaved for the most part but I had serious issues with depression and the psychiatrist I was seeing at the time had me on over 15 different medications. The worst thing I ever did in foster care was sneak out to the kitchen and take every pill I could find in the middle of the night. In the morning when my foster dad tried to wake me fro school I stood up and blacked out and woke up 4 days later in the hospital. To my amazement my foster mother wasn't mad at me. She came and visited me when no one else would and she told me that I was a person of value and nothing could ever change that. I recovered and grew to be a pretty succesful adult. Betty (my foster mother) never had the option of adopting me but she kept my picture up on her wall cont
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 12:46 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • My hubby was a foster child for 9 years...2 til 11
    majority of the time he spent it with one lady in particular...He calls her mom and visits her and calls her on mothers day...because when he was 11 he went back with his own mom and that year she passed so this lady who took care of him during foster care was mom to him.

    They have a good relationship but the woman never once thought of adopting him, my hubby and his brother didnt want to be adopted ever because they had hope that their mom would coome back for them and she did. Now there may be a reason like that that kids dont want to be adopted, also if you get a teen or close to teen they know the system already and know you get paid to be a foster parent and have this fear that you will not help after they turn 18, which sadly happens a lot, so its in their best interest not to be adopted so that they can get financial help with college thru various grants
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:36 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • not saying that you would do that but thats why most teens opt out when offered.

    and also if you foster their main goal is to reunite the children with their parents and you are supposed to be the middle man so to speak. your motive should not be to adopt the child.

    If you want to adopt a child from the foster system you take extra classes and get an adoptive parent license. That way when there is a child who has been thru the ringers already and the court has declared the child is allowed to be adopted you'll be on that list of people they call to try and place that child somewhere
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:41 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • with her children and biological children up until teh day she died in 2006. Foster parenting is always going to be more challenging than raising your own children. If these children were angels they wouldnt be in the system. But if you are a person who thrives in chaos and enjoys a good challenge or puzzle that makes you think foster care might be right for you. Be warned you WILL get your heartbroken at one point or another but the difference you can make in a child who wouldnt have otherwise had a chance is worth it. When my son is a little older I plan on doing foster care as well.
    katiekruschke

    Answer by katiekruschke at 12:49 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • The reason I mentioned not being able to adopt was my grandparents fostered two girls in the 50's and when they had to move out of state for my grandfathers job, they were not allowed to take the girls and the mother, who was in a psychiatric hospital, backed out of the adoption at the last minute and never let the girls have contact with my grandparents again. Its not that I am really wanting to adopt, its more that I know it is a possibility sometimes and was trying to feel out what the options are.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 12:55 PM on Oct. 3, 2009