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Do you think he did all he could to win me back? What has a guy done to win you back?

He sent me 4 e-mails when I first broke up with him explaining why he had treated me the way he did and that he was sorry... a couple of these e-mail contained poems that he had written. He called almost everyday leaving voice mails telling me that he loved me and missed me. He sent text messages saying the same thing. On my facebook, he would leave comments on some of my pictures but most of them were sarcastic... same with his comments or they would be those pity party comments that were about poor him. He stopped at my house twice during the night, the first time I answered but he had been drinking and the second time I didn't. I felt like he could have done more and put more effort into winning me back but that this stuff worked in the past and that is as far as he was willing to go.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • To me he won't "win" me back until he can prove that he's changed. That his behaviour won't happen again. I won't tolerate it and will be gone at the first sign that he was just putting on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • What did you want him to do? Get on his nees crying and kiss your feet! Men dont think like we do. He did way more then most men would do. You think that that wasn't good enough? You're lucky you got that much from a man! One day you're going to look back and think that you were stupid for letting him go...cause you are not going to find a man who will turn the world around just to get you back...and if you do, you're lucky

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 11:55 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I just wanted some fricken' flowers... lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I've been married for five years now, and have only gotten flowers once...and that's because I told him that he better bring me flowers when I gave birth to his first son. I hope you didn't think I was trying to be mean...but I've never had a man even try to get me back. My husband cheated for the third time and all he did was ask me to give him one last chance to show me that he could the family man that I want him to be. Life and love if full of just have to find out what you are willing to live with.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 12:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Talk is cheap. If he doesn't show it then I wouldn't accept his cheap talk especially if he gets drunk and comes by. It shows weakness imo. I wouldn't want a man who behaved like that. I'd hold out until he acted responsibly and showed me that I was important to him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:12 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • GotToHaveFaith - after receiving none from anyone at the birth of our first child; I also had to demand he bring me flowers after the birth of our sad...

    (I'm not the OP)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • it depends on why you broke up

    but I have completly had it with my SO and we split up once a while ago, I packed my stuff and went to my moms and he came to my moms house really early at about 5am, my mom let him in, and got in bed with me and cuddled with me and gave me a card that he had got the night before. I wasnt feeling good so I let him know because I thought I was sick so he went and got me some soup from the near by deli and ginger ale...which I was suprised by. We went to breakfast talked out our differences and I just told him I needed a break from being around him all the time like 24/7. he agreed that would be good for us to stop being so attatched and basically we came to common ground

    I finally figured out why I was sick later that evening...I was pregnant

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • When I was ready to leave DH (he did two REALLY stupid things back to back) he and I talked a little, I told him I was leaving, which he was not suprized by (did I mention he Fed up big time?), I packed up and left. That night I called when I got to my parents house and he said he was sorry, the next day there were flowers sent. The day after that he called to check on me. Every day there were e-mails and texts. After a week he had arranged some time off and pawned some of his stuff to get a bus ticket to come see me. I had already decided to come home, just had not told him yet. So when I told him, he had flowers waiting again when I got home, and had cleaned the house while I was gone. Guys will turn completely around if they think its worth it.

    Answer by auroura at 12:49 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • (I am the OP) I broke up with him because he drank all the time and every night he would say he couldn't come over because he was drunk again and I felt that there was no point being with him if he was never going to be here with us. Now he says that he is sober and wants to be with us but then he shows up at my house after he had been drinking. For one, this doesn't prove anything. I would think he would try to put more effort in showing me that he wants this and that he really has given up the booze He must of not really wanted this in my eyes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Sounds like he made his choice to me :(
    Unfortunately you weren't more important than the booze.
    He did some nice things to try to get you back, but in your case, the only way I'd take him back was when he completed some sort of rehab or joined AA and I'd randomly do tests on him to make sure he's on the up and up and that's sad, I really couldn't live like that but once trust is broken, it has to be earned back.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:39 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

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