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Would you ever take someone back who...

was an alcoholic and said really mean things while they were drunk? Did I do the right thing? I took him back several times in the past year after he had put me down by telling me I was a worthless mom, that no one miss me if I died and a lot of other messed up things... he said that he only said it because he was drunk. I believed him. This last time made me so upset to the point that I have stopped talking to him because of it and told him I was done. While highly intoxicated he called my son an illegitimate child and said that he was not very smart... that he was retarded and stupid just like me. He has apologized and says that he has cleaned up his act, that he wants me back.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • I wouldn't take him back until he does rehab and completes it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't take him back.
    If I choose to let someone put me down and pick on me, belittle me etc that's my choice, but no one will ever speak to or about my child that way.
    It's hard enough to raise an emotionally well developed child without someone directly in their lives telling them things like that.
    Bruises, breaks and cuts heal, but the scars of the damaged heart never do. It's embedded in their subconscious for life.
    No, I'd never take someone back that said those things drunk or sober about me or my child. The alcohol only makes you say things you were thinking anyway.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:18 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • You already know you did the right thing.
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 1:19 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • hmm...what i meant was you already know the right thing to do...sheesh.
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 1:19 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Nope. If you have taken him back previously then you should know that he does not change. He says he will, but then turns around and treats you like crap again. I would tell him flat out you had given him many chances to change and he did not. Tell him it is too little too late, you are done.
    I wish you luck
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:29 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • The reality is drunk people usually say what's on their mind regardless of who they are hurting. It's usually how they feel and not the truth. Drunks feel the need to say what they feel and chose to say it when they are drunk because they could never say it when they are sober. Anyways, once a drunk always a drunk! You have to be crazy to let him back in....he's going to do it again and again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I wouldn't take him back. Sorry, but even if he went to rehab, AA whatever and stayed sober, I'd be done with him.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 1:31 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Too much damage done already. I personally would not take him back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I have some experience with what you're talking about. I think you did the right thing. Before you even think of taking him back, he needs to complete a treatment program and be sober for a long time. But more than that, how do you feel about him? Do you want him back even if he does those things?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Ditch him - drunken words are sober thoughts.
    BlazzinBebe88

    Answer by BlazzinBebe88 at 3:57 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

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