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Would you be on board with this idea?

Here is my dilemma:

My fiancee has been wanting to go to work in Alaska on the fishing expeditions for years now. Today, he went to the meeting that would alow him to sign up for January. It's for 3 months and he would come back with $30,000. So, what's the issue? I don't want him to go. It's not an issue of danger (he would be working in the processing plant and not on the boat). But still.....3 MONTHS! I have a lot of concerns.

What would you do? Am I being selfish? We've already argued about this and he feels I am being short sighted and not wanting him to be a man and take care of his family. I just feel like he could find a job here and no need for the seperation. We also have 5 kids, too. But I am working right now and we aren't hurting for money. What are your honest opinions.

If it was your guy, would you be upset and object to him going?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I would be upset about the separation, but $30,000 is alot of money. It's more then most people make in a year. And yes, you may not be struggling right now, but can you guarantee that you won't be a year from now? That money could be quite a nice nest egg for you guys. With the economy these days, I'd take any opportunity I could, to get a little ahead. Plus, you have 5 kids. I don't want to sound harsh, but what if something were to happen to one of you? Wouldn't it be nice to know you have something to fall back on?

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 3:49 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • If he wants to let him or he may feel like your holding him back from forfilling some big fantasy about working there. I believe you are partners and you should support what his dreams are. Now if this becomes an every year thing, I may have something to say about it. But just once or twice, I would have to let him go.

    Answer by forevermom75 at 3:45 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Nope. At $10,000/mo, hell, I'd tell him to stay for 6 mos! LOL

    Look... it's a LOT of $$ and - more importantly - it's something he REALLY WANTS to do. It's not life-threatening so, honestly, who are you to deny him? I could understand if he wanted to go on the boat --- those people are nuts! LOL

    My husband's an amateur MMA cage-fighter. That's right -- he gets locked in a cage with another guy & they beat the crap out of each other... and he DOESN'T get paid for it. Do I like it? Not really - but it's his passion. He loves it... so I'm in complete support of him.

    Take me - I'm obsessed with NKOTB. Yes, I admit it. Did my hubs object to me going to 12 shows in 6 states - doing 7 VIPs, 2 afterparties, a charity event, one of the guy's birthday parties, etc, etc, etc, etc all this year? Nope. Why? because it was important to me. It was fulfilling my dreams.

    Support him - he''ll love you more for it :-)

    Answer by Laura1229 at 3:49 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I would be concerned but I would want him to go.  If this is what he feels like he needs to do, then so be it.  Of course, our kids and I would miss him terribly but think about what that money can buy!  3 months, thats it.  That money can put you ahead.  Thats what I would focus on.  In our relationship, I wouldn't worry about cheating, lying, etc so that would help me focus more on what that money can do for our family.   Be strong!


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 3:50 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • how often would he be able to do this, is my first question. because if its like he works for 3 months and has a month off then works for another 3, why dont you guys relocate so then that way he can have his dream job and you guys cans still be close! like mentioed above earlier $30, 000 is A LOT of money! me and dh pull (together) like $62,000 a guys could be set and have a really nice life and be happy! idk if you are doing it now, but start a college fund up for all of your children! there are so many possibilites if he takes this job!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I would support his dream and opportunity.

    Answer by EireLass at 4:05 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I'd let him, I try never to tie down my DH's dreams because I don't want that resentment to be there.

    Then again in my family working away from home is the norm. My dad did that for 17years of course that was only during the week.

    Still if he were in the service, it would be longer.

    Answer by Lesli at 4:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Thank you everyone! After reading all the answers I can see where you all are coming from and that I would be holding him back from a dream and also something that would help our entire family. It would be worth the sacrifice for him to fullfill his dream and for us to have a nice nest egg put away.

    Plus, the point about him resenting me if I kept him from it really hits home, too.

    Again, thank you all!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

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