"Some Birth Moms choose to have phone contact, but many choose to have no contact at all."
I found this statement on an agency site listed as a "fact" about adoption for expectant women considering adoption. It goes on to suggest that they will provide counseling to help you make your decision. If an expectant mom is told that the norm is to have no contact, will she believe it?
Answer by ceejay1 at 4:36 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Answer by Steph319 at 4:37 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 4:46 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Answer by Southernroots at 5:32 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 7:05 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 7:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Does age play a role when that is expressed? After my grief let up 15 years later, I no longer thought about contact. Now that I know I'm NOT WANTED, I no longer want contact. The Adoptee is happy, has all birth information, and I do NOT want to play the hurt each other game. I found an Adoptee on fb that fully understands a Mother and I get comfort from that.
Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
I think that most women who walk into an adoption agency for advice are completely ignorant about adoption. I believed everything I was told, for example, that I would hurt at first and then get over it, and that my son wouldn't be harmed at all.
I thought I would be treated like the women from the BSE and not be allowed to see my baby. I did! It seems laughable to me now to think I believed I wouldn't be allowed to see my own child. I'd never heard of open adoption, which is what they called semi-open adoption back then. And, I never imagined that full open adoption would exist.
So while I think that most do want contact, I think a woman walking into that agency would believe it.
Answer by onethentwins at 9:35 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Age may be a factor only in that as time goes on you know yourself better. Some people, not all. And as time goes on you are then the same age or around there as the people you are working with. As a teen you may just trust all adults to guide you. I'm not saying every teen or young woman. But my son's birthmother had been-there-done and has been around the block two or three times. She actually told us she always gets what she wants and told us how assertive she is. And she ruled the hospital with an iron fist. She had that entire wing jumping when she said jump. The only ones who didn't jump were me and my husband. We had the social worker flat out tell her we don't play games. If games is her way then she was told our bags are packed and were content with going home...without a child. Because I knew it would set a bad precident to let her walk all over us. We had to establish boundaries. I suspect
Answer by frogdawg at 9:53 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 9:57 PM on Oct. 3, 2009
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