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"Hunting widow"

That is a stupid label. When you have a wife and a kids don't you think one day EVERY weekend is enough instead of all weekend EVERY weekend? I do nothing (really ever) because someone has to be here with the kids. Today I was supposed to go to a retirement party for my old boss, the first thing I would be doing in over a month, yet still bringing the kids. He was supposed to come but instead came home way too late to go and I couldn't drive that far alone with babies. So after getting someone to watch them so I could get ready for it, we didnt even go. And he is still going to be gone all day tomorrow to. Im just so sick of it. Time to get priorites in family, not hunting and friends. I have tried everything to maybe have him let go of SOME not aking for all by any means.

Just venting and frustrated!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I'm not defending him in any way. My hubby doesn't really do anything away from home like hunting, fishing, hanging out with friends, but other than a quick trip to the store for no more than half an hour usually, I'm always home with the kids and it's always been that way and I suspect always will (which is fine with me).
    The thing is... you've let him get away with it, so he doesn't know any better and now he's become used to that routine and it's going to be hard to change it.
    Anytime we ask for change they start wondering what's up with us so be somewhat careful in how you approach the discussion if you decide to say something to him.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 5:22 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • no, he is never home. friends first, then family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • This should have been put in your journal not in the Answers forum. Plus, I'm sure you knew he did this before you even married so what is the point of your vent anyway?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • The vent is valid.... I see the point and why not show support instead of acting like your the op's parent and telling her she is putting her vent in the wrong area.
    Women need support not belittlement

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • How often does he hunt? Is it just for one season or does he find something to hunt all year long? If it is just one season I would say leave him alone. But if he is hunting every little thing that moves all year long, I would be upset that he chooses to be gone so much.

    Answer by FL2AK at 6:26 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • op....every season including fishing.

    and i am a big girl and i can write what i want where i want. thanks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Ok.....I myself hunt and so does DH. Our first year together he got carried away so the next season we made a deal. We sat down and talked and i told him how i felt and asked if we could compromise. He got 1 week day and one weekend day to go hunting and I got the same time out without children to hunt or whatever I wanted. It has worked great so far. Also, have you considered joining in the hobby with him? I never thought I would like it but he got me hooked. I love going out bymyself in the evenings after a long day. Very relaxing and sitting their in silence you start to notice some incredible things. It also brought us closer to have a hobby we both enjoyed and enjoyed together. I hope this helped.

    Answer by pages6 at 7:17 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I know exactly what you're going through. Up until this year it was horrible. It led to untimatiums and he did change. He not only took up his free weekends, but any day off he had (which is 14 a month). He was always late, I had to go many places alone because of it. This weather here is still a bit warm for him to go (he likes it cold) so time will tell if he has really changed. He also leaves for a week a year to go on a special trip with his buds! Every time I try to plan things he "forgets" and schedules things so I'm SOL. So I know too well the life of a "Whitetail Widow" lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I am right there with you! My husband just HAD TO go hunting this weekend even though hes leaving me at home with a sick toddler (H1N1) and a 3 week old. I am LIVID!

    Answer by LiamsMomMelissa at 11:42 PM on Nov. 6, 2009

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