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Is it illegal to not tell father when baby is born?

I know this sounds terrible. My daughter is being induced on Monday, the father of the baby is NOT stable. He has caused nothing but problems throughout her pregnancy. He lives in Maryland, and my daughter lived in Massachusetts and he constantly called her and messaged her to fight until she changed her phone number and blocked him from everything. Recently he found a way to get a hold of her. He knows that the baby will be here soon and threatened her a while ago that he was going to get custody of him. Now, he wrote her a message saying that if she doesn't tell him when he's born, there "will be hell to pay". She never planned on not telling him when the baby came until he threatened her with getting custody. If you read these messages, you can see that he IS NOT mentally stable and he is extremely verbally abusive. Is it illegal if she didn't tell him when the baby was born? I feel so bad.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Oct. 3, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • Also, she has dished out THOUSANDS of dollars and he hasn't done anything at all to help, no matter how many times she has told him to do something for his son. He has a girlfriend who won't let him help and has been trying to convince him to get a paternity test, which he says now that he wants. He tells people that my daughter was sleeping with 5 people at the same time, which would be impossible, because she was in Maryland for 2 weeks with him when she got pregnant! He threatened child custody when she told him numerous times that she was not going to stay with him because he has done nothing but stress her out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • no its not illegal. i didnt tell the father of my 1st born til we got home from the hospital. bastard didnt deserve to be there and we were both very fragile and ill after she was born so i didnt need the added stress of him being there harassing me with his fucked up family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • With all the threatening messages & phone calls, can she get a restraining order? Since the baby is due so soon, maybe you could get an emergency order pushed through? I know each state has different laws. You can also let the hospital know that NO ONE except who your daughter says is allowed in her room or around the baby. Make sure that the baby stays with your daughter at all times & that if the baby does have to leave your daughter, someone else (like you) stays with the baby. Let the nurses know that the father is not to have access to the baby.

    If you really are concerned that this guy is going to show up, you might want to have a group of people around who would be willing to help keep him away. I'm not saying start a fight, but just people to keep you all safe. Best of luck to all of you.

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 9:03 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • Nope. I didn't tell my son's father when he was born. Someone else did. I wouldn't have ever told him. He threatend to burn my house down when he found out..She needs to cut him from her life.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:41 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • I never told my baby daddy...he just found out by word of mouth. He threatened all those things to. Funny thing is he has never seen my daughter or has even tried to see her. When he had to chance to come to court he didn't. But no its not illegal.

    Answer by Amanduh87 at 9:59 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

  • My oldests father didnt get to meet him till he was 3 or so weeks old. The people in his family were druggies and had threatened me multipule times while i was pregnant. No one but him and hid grandmother were able to see him, I havent even talked to him or seen him in over a year.
    With my one year old i was told that if i tryed anything after he was born that his family (mom, sister,cousin,ect.) would make sure that he got him and not me. Weve been together for 2 years and every couple months he drives me to wanting to leave him and his family gets snotty, There is no fin way in hell he will get any of my kids (im pregnant with twins) with the way ive seen his family treat there kids. Not the right way too. I agree with funnyface1204 The hospital staff has to listen and will not allow anyone that isnt wanted in the room or even in L&D. Here we have a phone you have to pick up and call the nurses station to get in.

    Answer by SweetPea708 at 10:09 PM on Oct. 3, 2009

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