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How do I go about celebrating my sons 11th b-day on Tuesday the 7th, when I don't know where I will be or how I will feel?

I am getting my final diagnosis regarding what stage of cancer I am in. i.e. I am advanced. I have no idea if the doctor will decide to keep me in the hospital right then and there or even that thurs/Fri. The thing is that because he gets Oct. 30 off of school for parent/teacher conferences and I do also because I work there, we made it a tradition to go to Disneyland every other year on that day. I have to be realistic and figure by then I should have had surgery or starting radiation. My question is, what do I tell my son about our tradition? If I change it what is a realistic idea to celebrate? I am considering just giving him some money for him to do as he pleases but what breaks my frickin' heart is that he is just a kid and believes in his heart of hearts that we will go. Any advice/ideas welcome. NOT a fun question but some of you moms have such great ideas.


Asked by ItsMeGigi69 at 1:24 AM on Oct. 4, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (10)
  • Well, considering he'll be 11 this year, maybe you could try to make up a new tradition. Maybe you could ask him a few new and different ideas (possibly a concert?) of what he'd like to do, and if what he suggests is too strenuous for what you'll be personally dealing with, maybe try and find a compromise. I can only imagine what you're going through right now but please try to remember that all your fellow cafemom's are here for you. I will be sure to keep you in my prayers. I've always enjoyed your lighthearted and amusing responses in the past (in the answers section) and I'm counting on seeing your wit and wisdom for well into the future. Please keep a positive outlook! My prayers are with you and your son. =)


    Answer by dannydawna at 6:05 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I didn't mention that my final diagnosis and treatment gameplan falls on my sons birthday at 10:45am. I already made arrangements for his Godmother to take cupcakes and punch to his classroom.

    Answer by ItsMeGigi69 at 1:28 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Taking your son to Disneyland for one day will not affect your diagnosis or treatment, I say take him. The time for serous talks with him is coming soon. Enjoy the day. Never give up hope. I realize cancer and a stroke are very different..but..I was told i would never walk alone again. I refused to accept that diagnosis. 10 years later my sons are grown. they cherish every moment we spent together. You may have a fight for your life  ahead of you...but one day will not make a difference except in the way you child perceives spending his 11th birthday with you.


    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:33 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Thanks GrnEyed, lol I didn't want to ramble but the thing is, I am in pain when I am awake and if we go, I can't get on the rides my son wants me to go on with him. I am always bleeding and at times I can't leave the house because the clots that come out of me are uncontrollable. (they literally fall down my pant leg and the overflow of blood goes down my legs). I didn't want to get into detail because this happens like every 5-7 days so how will I know if I can do Disneyland on the 30th? Also the loss of blood does in fact make me feel woozy. How can I drive let alone walk around all day and no, I really don't have anyone that can go with me.

    Answer by ItsMeGigi69 at 1:39 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • awww GrnEyedGrandma that was so sweet, Itsmegigi I would try to go to disney too

    Answer by masonsmommy921 at 1:40 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Honestly - sometimes there are more important things that work & school.

    If you feel you're going to get a bad diagnosis which will change your & your son's lives.... and you feel like that diagnosis and possibly treatment will occur before or on his birthday --- I say take a day off, pull him out of school, and GO. Make a weekend out of it and really let go! Do ALL the things you've always said you would! Eat pizza 'til you're just sick! Spend too much on dessert! Stay up all night watching scary movies.

    Whatever it is that creates wonderful memories --- do it. It will give you something to talk about during those awkward silences you always get in the hospital...and it will give you a reason to fight!

    G'luck to you! - all my best

    Answer by Laura1229 at 2:10 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Write him a note and put it in his backback. I would pick him up after school. Tell him that even though you can't go to Disneyland this year. You want the day to be special. Get a Disney cake. Pig out on his favorite foods,Turn off the phones and have a mom and son day. Watch Disney movies. Play Disney games. Disney Scene it is great. Or if you have a Wii. Toy Story Mania just came out. Buy him a scrapbook and put in all the pictures of you two at Disneyland in it. Write funny and special captions then give it to him. Since it is the day before Halloween. Maybe you can make them Disney Halloween movies or maybe Pirates of the Caribbean. Stay up as late as you can. Try not to think of what is to come. Focus on the moment with your son.
    I take it that your son does not know yet. I would make this day and night the best ever. I wouldn't mention it. Because you wouldn't want him to associate his birthday with your cancer.

    Answer by CelticFaerie at 2:26 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I truly hope that you are cured, that your son will have his mama for a long time. I will light a candle for you. Please let me know how you spent your son's birthday. I wish you only the best.

    Answer by CelticFaerie at 2:28 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I just noticed that your son's birthday is on the 7th. Do you think that you could make it through the special re-release of Toy Story and Toy Story 2 in 3-D? I would celebrate it the evening of his birthday and do the Disney idea I gave you all day on the 30th. : )

    Answer by CelticFaerie at 2:32 AM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • If you feel up to taking him, I would take him. You don't say if he knows, so I can't say just be honest with him if you don't feel up to it. But, if you don't feel up to it, I would maybe do like someone else said, and take him on another day, or find a new tradition that you can handle this year. Also, I'd wait to make any decisions until after you get all the info from the dr. My uncle was just put in remission from colon cancer only to turn around find out he had lung cancer. He wanted to go visit my grandmother in another state for a week, and the dr told him they could hold off on treatment for a week or two. You may talk to the dr and discover that you can delay treatment or schedule it in such a way as to be able to do what you want to do. I wish you the best of luck and sincerely hope everything turns out wonderfully for you!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:37 AM on Oct. 4, 2009