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Is this verbal abuse?

i walk in to talk to him and the music is so loud i can't hear myself talk. i ask him to turn the music down. this is literally all i say, and we werent fighting before this.

"don't come in here like you run shit, this is what the fuck i want to do, leave me the fuck alone. fuckin bitch."

i shut the door and leave him alone. i don't say anything else to him until i go to run errands and i have to ask him to put gas in the tank becuz its on low. he puts gas in the tank, and says "your bringing me beer right back right?"

me. 'you have got to be kidding me'
him. 'what?'
me. 'you cannot talk to me like that and expect me to do you a favor.'
him. 'if you didnt act the way you do i wouldnt have to talk to you like that!'
me. 'i didn't do anything wrong.' i close the door and read.
him. 'your fuckin stupid. if you werent a bitch i wouldnt talk to you like one. wait until you need something from me u fat fuck'


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Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Oct. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • id say yes!

    Answer by toledoohiomom at 12:29 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Um yes. Most definitely. This is verbal abuse and it is totally grounds for a divorce if you are married, or if not, I would leave his sorry, hateful ass.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Well, it sounds like your tone is probably setting him off. Are you maybe being rude or abrupt?

    Either way, yes, that is verbal abuse. He's calling you names and being nasty. My husband has never EVER talked to me like that, and he would have hell to pay if he did. That's unacceptable.

    It sounds like he needs to learn to control his mouth and outbursts and you should learn how to not step on his feelings. Like when you ask him to turn the music down say "Hey, babe, that's really loud, could you turn it down please?' instead of "TURN IT DOWN!".

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:31 PM on Oct. 4, 2009


    he says some other stuff but i stop listening. i'm gone for 6 hours, doing a school activity with his kid and he calls me and says that from now on when we fight he's going to walk away. i tell him i didn't do anything wrong and he eventually apologizes.

    this morning i'm letting the dog lay on the couch bc he has a bad ear infection and i'm trying to keep him comfy till i can take him to the vet tomorow. he starts yelling about how the dog stinks, he can't believe i'm letting him lay on the couch and that i'm a fucking moron. he says i'm stupid and a moron again and then goes to take a shower. he asks me to cook him some eggs and when i go in to tell him about the dogs ear and that i need to take him he says that i'm selfish and shallow and that i'm a bitch cuz i want to take the dog to the vet but he's had an ear infection and i didn't care about him going to the doctors, which is a lie. CONTINUED

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • You should know that is verbal abuse.
    When he asked if I was bringing back beer, I would have said sure honey and when I got back I would have hit him with it. That is called physical abuse.

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 12:33 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I would leave him. WTH is his problem. It's not going to get better. I dont know if you have kids or how old they are. How will you feel when your 5 year old son hears this and then speaks to you that way? Leave him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Oct. 4, 2009


    he asks me how i'm cooking his eggs if i'm in there arguing with him. i said his eggs are on the stove and he goes in and yells at me about how i burned his eggs. they were a little brown but not burned. he says some other stuff but i'm used to tuning him out.

    this stuff happens a lot but i don't pay attention to him anymore but i know the kids hear it and i don't want to pretend it's not happening nemore and i dont want them thinking its normal. its not...right?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Oct. 4, 2009


    i didnt think it was normal but all of his friends hear this on xbox live and they are on his side and blame me

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • yes

    Answer by scooterpooter at 12:40 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • This is not good. Is it normal? In an alcoholic home with an authoritarian, jerk man.

    The swearing should stop. Both of you. There are kids in the house! No one should swear at someone else!

    The drinking needs to stop. There are kids in the house!

    There are things you can do to avoid problems. If you are going to stay, learn to do them instead of tuning him out.

    Answer by Gailll at 12:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

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