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im not sure what to say to them

me and my daughters father are divorced and he has not seen baby since last november. his parents have never seen her and recently they wrote me a message on myspace and asked if i could get the time off from work and they bought my plane ticket if me and baby would stay at their house for the weekend.( they live in north carolina and i live in washington, so its really far) i dont really have a problem with them seeing her but i dont want to be at their house with my ex and my baby by myself because i dont trust my ex. one of the last things he said to me was he wishes he would have taken the baby just to piss me off. thats why i dont trust him. i do have some family a couple hours away from exs parents house so i could stay there. does anyone have any advise?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Oct. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Tell his parents what you concerns are and let them know that you would love for them to see her, but he can not be there with you without anyone else present because you are not comfortable with that situation. Be open and honest, they deserve the truth and you and your daughter deserve to be safe and feel at ease.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Maybe you should visit your family and have the ex parents meet you there. That way you are someplace that you are comfortable, and you have your family for support. You also would not have to worry about the ex trying anything or wonder what the ex-parents are up to.
    Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • i dont think that they would let him do anything,id go just dont let them take the baby out for a drive or something.or u can tell them that u would feel uncomfortable with him there,mabe u could get a hotel room near by

    Answer by angelairelan at 1:06 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Since this is something you are concerned with I would suggest that you not let your child out of your sight for even one second.  You see nothing wrong with letting the grandparents see the baby, which I agree with you on, but take precautions just to be on the safe side!  If this were happening to me, I wouldn't stay at THEIR house because I don't think that I would be able to sleep one bit with what your ex has said.  But I like your idea about staying with your own family and then letting them see the baby that way.  I would talk with them about it and make sure that they understand what your rules are, etc.  Good luck sweets!


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 1:19 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • They could try to do something legal so you couldn't leave NC with the baby. It could be a trap. I would invite them to fly to where you live.

    Answer by Gailll at 1:43 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Traveling with a small child isn't an easy thing to do. I'd invite them to come visit me at their convenience not the other way around.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:23 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • If it was me, I would either go to visit my family and have the ex-parents visit me and baby there, or I would tell ex-parents that I am not comfortable traveling with a small child and invite them to visit me, (and stay in a hotel). That way you still have control of the situation, and your child is not out of your site. If you are not comfortable meeting them alone ask a friend to be present for support, or if you are not comfortable having them in your home, then meet them at a public place (like restaurant).
    I hope all goes well

    Answer by MizLee at 5:23 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

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