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Chores are cruelty?!?!

I was talking to a friend at the park yesterday, telling him about the chores my kids have (loading their dirty clothes in the washer-I put in the detergent, moving the wet clothes to the dryer, folding and putting it all away, cleaning their bathroom, cleaning their play room, keeping their rooms clean, my daughter gathers all the trash in the house, and my son takes it out to the big trashcan outside) and I was informed that chores are suppressive and cruel to children, by some random woman walking by.
I see chores as a way to teach my children (6 year old girl, 8 year old boy) responsibility. They don't get allowances, but they do earn other privileges for completing their chores. It's a way I can teach my kids how to keep their own houses when they grow up. As they get older, I intend to teach them how to cook as well.
Is this "suppressive and cruel" or what?

Answer Question

Asked by debra_benge at 1:09 PM on Oct. 4, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 5 (91 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • The same woman who said that is probably going to have some extremely lazy kids when they grow up. I've seen this happen before with someone who never had to clean, and needless to say, CPS has been on them twice already for living in filth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Absolutely not, I commend you for having your children be responsible and do chores, my daughters do them too. There is nothing wrong with teaching children to be helpful and somewhat self sufficient at an early age. HOWEVER....there is A LOT wrong with teaching children to be catered to and waited on hand and foot....parents need to grow a spine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I wouldn't worry about her. LOL She will be the one with her child still living at home when he is 40 and she still does all the cleaning and cooking. Good job making your kids do chores!

    Answer by Amber115 at 1:13 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • My kids are not quite 3 and they have chores. Well not like an order child would but two simple things I know they can handle doing. 1. Before they go to bed they have to help clean up their room by putting their toys away. And 2. When my daughter gets undressed, she puts her clothes in the laundry pile. As they get older, their chores will change accordingly. I grew up on chores and have no problem instilling that in my kids. I'm raising them to be strong, responsible, and independent persons. Keep doing what your doing, they're off to a good start. It sounds like your kids are headed in the right direction.


    Answer by Danni143 at 1:22 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • You make them clean up after themselves!?!? Oh, the horror! What's next? Good grades?

    ******so everyone knows: the above is very sarcastic.**********

    I think it's a wonderful idea for kids to learn to clean up after themselves. I have my son (2 years old) pick up his toys and put them in bins and wipe down the coffee table. That's pretty much all he can do. Oh and put the silverware (not including knives) into the silverware drawer. He can't sort it, but he loves throwing the spoons and forks into the drawer.

    Answer by jlry_ldy at 1:24 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I don't think they should be called chores. It's just stuff that needs to be done. When my kids were big enough to do their own laundry they had to do it themself. I always got clothes that didn't matter if they were thrown in together. They cooked, cleaned, everything.

    We homeschooled and I was a disabled single mother. My sons are grown. My oldest son lives with his girlfriend who is in nursing school and she works part time. Since he has more time he cooks and takes care of the apartment. My middle son's wife can make more than him. He takes care of the toddler and everything. All she has to do is work and breastfeed. He even does all the cooking and shopping. My youngest bought a house recently and lets me live with him. He usually cooks at night for both of us. We share taking care of the house.

    They are glad they know how to do everything.


    Answer by Gailll at 1:24 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I've 2 boys, the older one is 3 and the younger one is almost 2. My oldest one is already helping with a lot of things. He likes to help to load and unload the dishwasher, little things he is already putting away like silverware and pots and pans. He helps with vacuuming (I've a lil hand held one for lil spots), taking care of our puppy (giving water and food), cleaning his room and putting his used clothes on a pile. My youngest one, helps with cleaning up his toys and plays with the puppy. I don't force or tell them to do it, they just like to do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • As long as kids also have time to be kids then chores are fine. They should also be routine and age appropriate. An eight year old doing all the laundry, folding, dishes, cooking.....that is rather abusive. A child should have some responsibilities, including picking up after themselves, to contribute to the home. Parents sometimes do give too many chores or are not consistant about which jobs belong to a specific child. I think children should learn how to master a chore for a given period of time and then learn a new one. This way they learn, by the time they are adults, how to manage and care for their items and how to respect property of others.

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:46 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • To Jeremy, if I took away his chores then that would be suppressive and cruel. He loves to help out around the house. Since Jeremy will be 5 soon, we are talking about giving him an allowance, but not sure if we want to connect it to chores or not. Maybe if he does extra chores, then he can earn extra money or privileges.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 1:54 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • My kids don't have as many chores as yours do, but I do agree that chores are good for a child. I am sorta cruel though! Their job is to clean up their rooms, and pick up their toys or anything thing else they get out and don't put away. If I have to tell them to do it over and over again, I'll do it and they won't get the stuff back. I've thrown away lots of toys and even favorite clothes.
    Boo hoo, they should have picked them up. So far it's only taken once for each kid!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

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