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Did you do family gatherings differently with your child's first Christmas?

I know its only October, but this year has flown by! My son is already three months old! We are thinking there shouldn't be any problem with us delaying going to DH's family thing on Christmas Day. However, in years past we've been expected to rush through our little family Christmas to hurry up and wait at in laws. (LOL! They don't organize their dinner/gatherings very well and I've already tried to help numerous times) We don't want to rush through watching our children open their gifts, especially with our new/last baby (got my tubes tied) having his first Christmas. Is this something I need to alert family to in advance? The "planning committee" certainly don't let us know anything til the last minute, but hey, I don't wanna be like that.

 
kbates1208

Asked by kbates1208 at 7:10 PM on Oct. 4, 2009 in Holidays

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Answers (8)
  • It was a hard pill for my Mom to swallow when I told her we would be over Christmas Day...but after our children had opened their gifts. My kids got tired of opening their stuff and then having to leave it to go to Grandmas. I told her we will be there..but it is time for us to start making our own family traditions. It was a hard the first year. After that she just got used to it. Your children are small so short a time. Do not regret being greedy in wanting to cherish every second of it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:22 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • stupid - feelings getting hurt - pills being swallowed - stop celebrating and get on with your life!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I agree with anon, but it isn't quite that easy! We used to do both families in the same day. The gatherings were located a good half hour or so away from each other. When it got to be too much, we tried to do Thanksgiving and Easter every other year, and Christmas Eve with one family, while Christmas Day was with the other. The first year we did this, my in-laws had a fit. Easter was with my family, and as it turned out, DH's grandpa died before the Thanksgiving holiday. Of course it was our fault that we weren't there for the last holiday with him! And when Thanksgiving came along, and it happened to fall on my daughter's birthday, I wasn't allowed to bring a cake to celebrate her birthday with his family! Trying to please everybody just doesn't work and eventually you DO have to figure out what works best with your own immediate family and set your foot down. But be prepared for lots of hurt feelings.
    PSMother

    Answer by PSMother at 11:35 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • No way I could be anywhere before 1 on Christmas day. I would just tell them that you will be opening gifts and letting the kids play and having a light meal at home so dont plan on you being there before 12 or 1. (or whatever time you think is reasonable) You could tell them you will come for idnner if you want, but I would tell them in advance..maybe discuss it at thanksgiving time. Just tell them you are rushed and you want to tr to slow down and enjoy the holidays a little more and let the kids play with toys for a bit b4 leaving the house.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:13 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Heck no!!! Christmas Day is now for us, my family. I invites my in-laws over ( my side is jewish) after their church/mass Christmas Eve for cocoa, dessert, and gifts. Go out on your own or give them the evening for a formal dinner and gifts. This is your time for now YOUR family.
    momofcali3

    Answer by momofcali3 at 1:18 PM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • We still go over to my mom's fairly early on Christmas Day, but my parents have 12 grandkids and they are all there - my kids have as much fun playing with their cousins as they do opening their gifts, and I like it that way. Christmas is about family anyway!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:35 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • We are switching things up this year and my family is coming here for Christmas. Next year it will be with his family, although not quite sure how it will all work out. As a tradition for my side and DH's we get together on Christmas Eve so you have Christmas day with your own kids and don't have to be anywhere. Christmas is about the kids, in my opinion. Getting together to enjoy watching their joy and delight is what it's all about. I'm looking forward to the holidays this year!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 7:53 AM on Oct. 8, 2009

  • In the past, we've gone all over creation because everyone wanted to celebrate the same day. We stopped doing that, because we were driving more than having fun with our kids. Our family is more important to us than driving to please everyone. My family always celebrates on Christmas Eve at 12pm, so it gives everyone time to do their other parties. I understand that Christmas is about family, but its OUR kids that we want to spend the most time with, not extended relatives.
    kbates1208

    Answer by kbates1208 at 7:54 PM on Oct. 11, 2009

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