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How do you deal with nosey friends who don't have kids?

Almost all of my friends without kids are driving me crazy! They give opinions about just about anything I say about my son (and they aren't asked for). At this point I even try to limit what I say about him and they still have to offer their two cents. The worst part is that several times when I have been in the middle of disciplining him (usually just as simple as telling him not to do something) they have interveened by picking him up or comforting him if he is crying because he is not getting his way. I have told them repeatedly not to pick him up and to ignore him and no one seems to get it. How do I deal with these people and why are they doing this? I am beginning to feel like a broken record and a bitch. These are some of my really good friends too and I never had problems with them before I had my son. Any advice would be much appreciated.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Oct. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • I think its as simple as this, they wont understand until they are parents. Yes its annoying, but I would try to say something before it happens again. If they are close friends they should understand your feelings (even if they dont understand how mothers need to act) Tell them that you really dont want them to intervene and you will ask for help if you need it.
    KaRaBaSsEtT

    Answer by KaRaBaSsEtT at 7:44 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • yep i'm having the same problem with my friends. They think they know everything about kids without even having one. They can't and won't understand until they're parents. My son is 10 months old and my friend wanted me to go to a get together at her house and put my baby in her bedroom and drink with her. I don't think that she quite understands that he's not a dog.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I have been there, it seems that the childless ones ALWAYS seem to know best, know exactally how to raise kids, could do it better..... (well in THEIR minds anway). I have 1 childless family member that oversteps and acts like she can knows it all and can do better and I admit that I step up and put her right back in her place. I usually tell her that they are my kids and I will raise them my way. If she does not like it then maybe she should have kids of her own and see what it is like.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • This is why, soon after having a child, many parents find themselves drifting away from their childless friends (and vice versa); you just don't have anything in common with them anymore and they don't understand why you've changed.

    If you intend to regularly visit with your childless friends, then you are going to have to assert your authority as mother when they do something against your wishes with your child or they will continue to undermine your disciplinary efforts with their good intentions.

    Your best bet is to limit your visits with your childless friends when you can get a sitter. Maybe start planning "playdates" with them when you can get away by yourself? This way you get the best of both worlds - time for you & a well-behaved child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Just respond: "I didn't know that you had a degree in child development!"
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:04 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

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