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am i being mean? or is this a good idea?

my 19 month old is such a picky eater.... he will never eat anything and mealtime is major tantrum time. i told my hubby i am going to start offering him a meal for breakfast, one snack before nap, lunch after nap and a meal for dinner and tell him he can choose to eat this food or leave it, but there is no more food if he doesn't want his meal. so far it's worked pretty good (today he actually ate breakfast and lunch and snack and just had a meltdown halfway through dinner). my hubby says i'm mean and he lets him eat whatever (ie. pringles and marshmellows) bc he thinks he's gonna starve to death otherwise. what do yall think?

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princessbeth79

Asked by princessbeth79 at 8:34 PM on Oct. 4, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 28 (35,371 Credits)
Answers (34)
  • I was a Packy eater my mom did everthing to make me eat now I am very FAT FAT FAT,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I don't think that there is a problem with it. The first battle that children learn to fight is food. If you let them win then you have a long hard road ahead of you to fight to be in control. We have this same rule at hour house but I started when she was 14 mos b/c we were having meltdowns at lunch. I wouldn't let her snack until we ate lunch. She has gone to bed w/o dinner once and missed lunch once. I feel that it has been a success at our house I hope it will be at yours as well. Let your hubby know that no child will starve themselves and you are not being mean, but being a parent that is in control.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:40 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the Coala, had to do the same with my high spirited child when she was a toddler
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 8:44 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • i think you are right!!! he wont starve and giving him junk instead teaches him that he can
    my parents were pretty strict so i dont make my son eat something if he tries it and REALLY doesnt like it (but he is 6), but the alternative is not junk food
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:44 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Those are the rules at my house. Whats on the table is whats for that meal. You may choose not to eat...but you aren't having anything else, including no snack, until the next meal. I refuse to play food wars with kids. All kids have things they truly don't like. I'm okay with that. Our rule is EVERYONE has to try a fair bite of anything new.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:52 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • BTW...I had a pediatrician tell me once when my youngest tried to go though this only macaroni and cheese phases that no child will willingly starve themselves. Offering NO food is starving a child. Offering food and he chooses not to eat makes it the childs option. Thery may miss a meal or two..but it won't last and you will have the upper hand. Don't think the child isn't picking up on the fact that he can 'play' Dad.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:55 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Considering his age, I will say this: I think a 19 month old is too young to be given those sorts of options. They are still learning to eat. The problem is that your so is offering him junk food, which is why your little one is refusing the good food you give him for meals. It's hard when the two of you aren't seeing eye-to-eye on the eating situation with your child. Try talking to your so once again and let him know that the food he is offering your child is not acceptable.

    I have similar problems with my 15 month old, BUT she doesn't eat junk food. So I make sure she has something to eat when she refuses a meal or outright skips a meal.

    Good luck.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 9:32 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Mealtimes don't have to be battles. PARENTS turn them into battles, not the children. For some reason, parents want to be in control of a child's palette, which is ridiculous. A toddler naturally wants to have some control over their own bodies, and their food choices. If you limit their food choices and tell them, "It's either THIS meal or nothing", you're not encouraging them to make good choices about food. You're not encouraging them toeat when they are hungry, and to stop when they are full. Parents don't have to be in control of every little aspect of their toddler's lives. It's like a power-trip. Loosen up the reigns a bit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • Seriously anon? And you opinion is why so many teens are wild idiots. It starts when they are toddlers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

  • hes at the age where he understand things more....i think u are doing it right...my son isnt a picky eater he eats everything....but my nephew was a picky eater and my sister in law did that and now he what is sat before him...way to go...
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 9:48 PM on Oct. 4, 2009

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