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In laws and Stepson! Tell me I'm not over reacting!

My SS lives with us 4 days out of the week. I pick him up from school on Thursday and I take him back to school on Monday so he's here most of the week. Well he wanted to see my inlaws and spend some time with them. About two months ago we had the talk with them about sugar and how my SS doesn't need to have that much because it speeds his heart rate up and makes him feel bad. We go pick him up yesterday after only being there for 2 1/2 hours! He's sitting on the couch with a plate in his lap of raw cookie dough. My mouth dropped appearently and she said, Oh don't worry. The last batch he ate had been cooked! I asked him how many he had had.. and he said, I've had about 9 or 10 cookies and about 11 spoonfuls of cookie dough. THEN I look over and his kool aid drink had about 6 CM of sugar sitting at the bottom of the glass! I know grandparents like to spoil grandchildren, but isn't this a little much? ........

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • OP continued.... My husband asked me not to say anything there, so I didn't! But in my opinion, this was WAY out of line! My SS was so sick that night and even this morning he was still sick. I didn't say anything to them, but in my opinion, they shouldn't be able to see him unless someone is there to oversee it. Am I wrong for that? This isn't the first time something like this has happened either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • that is an insane amount of sugar for any kid!! When you invite them to spend time with him ask them to meet you somewhere. liek we are going to Chuck e cheese you guys want to go? Then you dont have to say anything about them not being allowed to have him alone. I would also tell them that he was very sick after you got him back and that he is not allowed to have ANY sugar. Obviously they have no idea what is an appropriate amount.

    Answer by ria7 at 10:28 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Hmm Spoiling is one thing, That is putting his health at risk period .There is ample evidence that excessive sugar can have serious effects .To me there is a respect issue Just because they are the Grandparents does not give them a Right to overrule your parenting choices .I would tell them if you continue then no more unsupervised visits


    Answer by CSRodriguez at 10:36 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • That is abuse in my eyes. My parents know they are not to give my kids sugar or processed foods. If they cannot follow that they can come here to my home to see them. My mom thought it was not right but she agreed. She commented on how much better behaved my kids are over my nieces and nephews who eat a steady diet of sugar and crap. She feeds all the grand kids healthy stuff when they are at their home now and loves how much more calm the kids are and better behaved.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • im sure they most likely think your over reacting and probably didnt get how badly sick he def need to say something though just keep it civilized remember it is your inlaws want to keep the peace in the family. Yo uneed to tell them he was sick for 2days straight because of all the sugar you let him have.How badly it can affect him.and if they cant respect your wished then they cant be alone with him.Grandparents will always think they know whats best because theyve been here longer than us..smh..thats not the case though.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 10:48 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • they may think you are overreacting but thats not the point. that amt of sugar can send a child into early diabetes at worst and at best, make him so so sick. If it were me, I would take healthy snacks and explain that if the sugar loads keep continuing that ss cant come without your dh. if they get mad, they will have to adjust what they are feeding him to see him. up to them.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:33 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • How old is your step-son , obviously school age, but seriously? I would ride herd on his a$$ about how bad he felt and make him responsible for his actions and what he put in his mouth! I was a Girls Scout leader to a diabetic and she was 8 or 9. She knew exctly what she was and was not supposed to eat.
    That being said, yeah no more unsuprevised visits for the Grandparents. You might not have realised that cookie dough probably contained raw eggs which could have salmonia...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • My stepson is eight and very small for his age. He weighs only 38 lbs so that much sugar really did a number on his body. I'm all for giving treats and snacks. HOWEVER, one cookie, maybe even two if they are small is one thing, but I had already told them that he DOES NOT need that large amount of sugar. I am so pissed that they went ahead and gave it to him anyway. Not to mention, that was the first whole weekend my husband had off and we had a ton of things planned for that night and the next day that we couldn't do because he was feeling so bad and my husbands next weekend off with his son is around Christmas.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I would let the in-law's know that they ruined the entire weekend with their immature attitude and I would remind the kid not to do that to himself ever ever again. He is 8 and old enough to take responsibility for what he puts in his mouth! Just because Grandma lets you eat an entire batch of cookies doesn't mean it is a good idea. It must be hard not to baby a 38 pounder. Does his mother have similar food rules? Is he getting consistency?


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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