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Bridal Shower question?

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding next month and this weekend is the bridal shower. The maid of honor is having the shower at her house and it pretty much planning all the details. I myself have been married so I have been there done that you know and I am trying to help her but she says she doesn't need any help. The thing is she is saying how nuch stuff she needs to get done and how is she going to get it all done and I have offered to help many many times. She also now saying well what are you guys going to help me pay for? I told her flat out that if we couldn't help with any of the planning or any details then I am not paying for it? I will bring the food I am making and that's that? Am I wrong for not wanting to pay her?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (9)
  • Nope,,,if she didn't accept an offer of help and only wants you to pay, then no, I wouldn't pay either
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:38 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I think you are wrong here. It's your job to help with the shower and unfortunately that means the cost as well. Tell her the exact amount that you can contribute and leave it at that. She's the maid of honor, it's her job to plan everything and if she wants to do the running around then let her. If you are not willing to help pay then it will come across as a snub to the bride.

    Another part of your job is to get along with the whole wedding party and limit the stress on the poor bride so that she can just enjoy this time, Wouldn't you have felt crappy if you found out that your bride's maid's were fighting with each other and making each other miserable during your festivities? You need to stop being selfish and think of the bride. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't be a bride's maid.

    Sorry if that was harsh, but it's my honest opinion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Just be there for her, remember it is not for her it is for your friend who is getting married, Don't let the bride down, Remind the girl if you need me to chip in, I need to be part of where my money is going, and If you need my help. I am here, sounds like me she wants all the thanks for doing everything when she needs all of you.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:43 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • You should no where the money is going too!! YOU are not wrong. :) She sounds like she will say, I did this and that, and no one helped me. Poor so, and so. When really she don't want the help.

    Stick to your guns.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:44 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I guess I am just annoyed with the fact that the maid of honor is her best friend and since day one of this wedding she has been trying to outcast the other bridesmaids and make it sem like no one is doing anything. She purposely told me the wrong info for the dress alterations so I was the only one who didn't show up? I don't mind paying but I think if she isn't going to let us help and take all the credit for it then I am not going to help pay for it. The bride has no idea this is going on and she won't know either. I am just tired if her saying that she has soo much to do in front of the bride like nobody is helping her or offered. She has turned into a Maidzilla!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • So it's her job to plan everything Anon 10:41 but not pay for it? That seems a little ridiculous to me? If she wants to take all the credit and plan every last detail then she can foot the bill for it. Sounds like this girl has offered to help and she isn't taking it so she can do it on her own!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I just went through the same thing with my brother and SIL's couples shower. My SIL wanted to have a couples shower instead of a bridal shower since they have lived in a house for 4 years together before getting married. The MOH offered to coordinate and pay for everything, although the shower will be held at my house, since it's the only one big enough to hold 100+ people. I asked if she needed help getting list together for items, she said NO. She procrastinated and called me a day before the event asking if I could pay for balloons, table cloths, plates, cups, utensils, napkins, and the cake. I said NO, because I was already cooking and buying the 75 hamburgers, 75 hot dogs, mac n cheese, beef brisket, potato salad and jambalaya and providing the condiments. She had a fit but I didn't back down. I reminded her I asked if she needed help and she said NO. A day late and a freaking dollar short. Not my problem.
    momtotrips

    Answer by momtotrips at 11:11 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • 10:41 here -

    I never said that the MOH doesn't have to pay anything at all, just that the other bride's maids are supposed to chip in. Give whatever amount you can spare and call it a day.

    All this talk about wanting credit and what not just sounds selfish to me. Do what you have to do to make this perfect for the bride and bite your tongue. It's not about the MOH and it's not about you. Try to keep things in perspective.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Wow looks like Anon needs to pull the stick out-it seems like this MOH is about getting all credit and trying to look good for everybody. Why waste your time-money and energy on someone who obviously can handle everything. I say you just go a little early to help set up and then call it good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

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