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My daughter broke her arm and my ex didn't even CALL me!

When he dropped her off last night...I see this HUGE cast. I'm like WHAT!!! (insert freaking out here!). She said that Daddy didn't want to call you because he said you would blame him and get mad. CAN HE EVEN DO THAT? Legally? We're not divorced yet. Wait until my lawyer hears this one... What if it was something serious? I can't believe I wasn't there for my baby! How mean can someone be?

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Asked by LizzyBen at 10:53 AM on Oct. 5, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (12)
  • My ex is like that !!

    Answer by katherine4 at 10:55 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • hes a dick.karma will bite him in the ass.

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 10:57 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I would be sooooo pissed. Lucky me: I dont have to deal with the dad. But, there are downfalls to that too. Anyways, If i was in your situation, I would be livid. Expecially of her age too. He should have totally called you so you could be there. Plus, it was VERY wrong of him to tell your daughter that you would get mad and put her in the middle of what is going on between you two. That just is NOT right! I believe that if anything, and i mean anything: mediacal comes about both parents should be notified. No matter the situation! He was VERY in the wrong!
    Kiss your baby girls arm for me! :)

    Answer by SylviasMommy at 10:57 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • He should have called you and he definitely SHOULD NOT have told her that he wasn't telling you because you'd blame him. So how DID she break her arm?

    Answer by PaceMyself at 10:58 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • yes, he is the father, often they don't think like us, as every woman should no, they need clear instructions:
    He should have called you. You two have to be civil for the kids, they see and hear everything. You need to tell him, if she ever gets sick or hurt and needs medical care that you are to be notified immediatly, and you will not blame him or anyone for it happening unless it is his fault, like him hitting her, feeding her bad food, other wise you can't blame him.

    Lame excuse you would blame him, kids fall all of the time. that is just a cope out. :(

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:07 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I would be pissed, and I think you have a right to be. But looking at your reaction "Wait until my lawyer hears this one" is EXACTLY why he didn't call you. He didn't want to deal with the stress of having you doing that while he was dealing with an already stressful situation. And yes, he can take her the hospital without contacting you, he is just as much her parent as you are. Heck, if you read the fine print on the releases they have at school and the laws governing what a school can do, they have the right to get treatment THEN contact you.
    Being pissed is reasonable, I am really not trying to be mean I would be angry too, but I would also look at my own behavior to see if my ex had a point.

    Answer by auroura at 11:12 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • What your "ex" is doing is putting your child in the middle of what happened between you two. Which you and I know is WRONG. He should have called you and you should call your lawyer right away and notify him/her what happened then you need to call the ER he brought her to and find out what happened and how this happened. Then call her doctor and have him/her do a check-up on her arm also.

    Your EX is a childish ass (you already knew that) Ask your DD what happened and how it happened. Then find out what he told the ER doctor. Your EX just dug himself a DEEP hole, he can't figure out how to get himself out of and what he is gonna say to fix this. This is not your fault this is his shit. Just make sure things are checking out with what your DD has to say what happened and what the doctors were told.. GL and I hope she is feeling better very soon..


    Answer by raemommy at 11:45 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • well I'm going on the opposite side. Yes he should have called and informed you. However judging by your reaction here would you have blamed him? All these people that don't know him are. I mean your falling over your feet to tell your lawyer. And do you call him over everything? I mean if you daughter was in a school play would you call him? Or had the flu? And please .. kids break arms all the time. Why are you all jumping in here and blaming him? You as her mom have the right to see the release forms but do yourself, your ex and your child a favor here. He sought medical attention, he didn't tell you (a bad on his part) but seriously how your dealing now it probably would have been worse when you showed up at the hospital. Putting her in the middle..not by this. Let go of your anger and let him no that next time he needs to call. PERIOD! Oh and yes I have a ex.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 12:25 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I agree with pagirl71. My brother in-law (a minor) broke his foot at our house, had to have a cast & the whole 9 yards. We called his dad who took him to the hospital. It was his weekend, the kids are his responsibility and he didn't call her until after he was back home. Of course, she flipped out--which is exactly why he didn't call in the first place. The 1st thing she said was that my husband broke his little brother's foot on purpose. Then she laid blame on everyone. You ex took care of her, and probably should have called before he brought her back home so you wouldn't be so surprised but I think it sounds like he had good reason to be wary.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Legally can he do it? Depends on what your papers say. When the ex and I were separated it stated in there that ALL medical decisions (from a routine checkup to surgery) had to be made by BOTH parties unless an emergency and the other parent is to be contacted within 24 hours. Now it's a totally different story because he's not involved so the papers state I have total control and don't need his permission for anything and don't have to notify him.

    Personally I'd be upset if I wasn't notified but I don't know that one of my first 100 thoughts would be to call my attorney. Breaking a bone is a common thing, but yes as Mothers, most of us want to be there even for the smallest of scrapes!

    Answer by lissa27504 at 2:15 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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