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The "how many u been with" question

This guy I have been dating for 8months asks me how many men have I slept with. Luckly my son woke up and wouldnt stop crying so we had to stop the conversation so I could go tend to my son. I have had sex with 22 men...im 24 years old and lost my virginity at 18. I was a Party girl in college. Im ashamed to tell him tho! should I lie? or just tell him...im scared he will look at me different, I'm not like that anymore.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I would tell him that you have had a few people that you have slept with but that should not matter how many people you have had sex with, What matters is that you are happy in the relationship and that your faithful and he is also.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I agree with PP...it really isn't important. Just tell him that it's your past and that's where is should stay...If he is concerned with disease, calm his fears and tell him you'll get tested as long as he does too.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:17 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • It's up to you. I know a lot of people do not feel comfortable sharing that information with their SO's and that's perfectly acceptable. It is (hopefully) all prior to this relationship and shouldn't have a baring on how he feels about you and vice versa. Unfortunately it MIGHT. If you aren't comfortable try simply telling him "I'm sorry but I am not comfortable talking about my previous sex life with you because I love you and that's all that matters to me."

    Then again if you feel comfortable and want to tell him go for it. If he leaves you because of something like that then you may have saved yourself a lot of hurt in the long run.

    Good luck.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 11:18 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Men are insecure as hell when it comes to that stuff...don't give him a number...like the above poster said .. just say "a few". It's not so much that he will "look at you different" as that he will obssess about how good these other guys were in bed and whether or not he measures up. Even the most secure guys assume the next guy (or last guy(s) in this case) knows something he doesn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I wouldnt tell no matter what the number is. If he brings it up again just tell him that is in the past and he is your one and only.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:20 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I ageee with ria7, no one needs to dwell on this, the past is the past and say that you had a few relationships, but now you are having him be your LAST one! Good luck. By the way, if this continues to come up, it is not a good sign, a lot of men use this as a tool to point out your flaws.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:24 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Tell him this-"honestly, I just can't really remember a single one worth mentioning since you came along and blew my mind!"
    I am a firm believer in keeping the"mystery" alive in a relationship. There are some things that just don't need to be brought up because the past is in the past.
    mygirlscome1st

    Answer by mygirlscome1st at 11:56 AM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Be honest with him. Lying even about the small stuff is a great way to destroy a relationship. My ex husband lied about how many women he was with. Had I known he was such a man whore (with over 100 women) I would have made him get tested before we slept together. He claimed he had only been with his first wife who died in child birth. I believed him and now I have HIV and so does my 10 year old and now I cannot have a normal sex life with my current husband and my daughter will never have her own kids. Be honest get tested and move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Hope you have been tested. I would be afraid to tell him too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Truth and honesty is the only way to live. Just tell him there were some...quite a few.... at least if it all comes out now and he can't deal with it, you can move on. Ummm....22? Yikes! The truth usually DOES come out. Arghh.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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