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Can forgetting someone who hurt you replace forgiveness? How can you forgive them for hurting you so bad?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • By not forgiving them, you allow them to have control over you and your action...You need to forgive them...
    Forgiveness does not mean forgetting...it does not mean that you have to have a relationship with them or even talk/see them at all...
    forgivness means that you give their sins up to God to handle so that you can move on with your life.
    A good book to read on this is called "The Shack"...after I did, I looked at life a lot differently. It helps.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:26 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I think the answer to this one is no. I'm hurt by the things that my father did to me when I was growing up. I try to pretend like it doesn't bother me. I'm the only one that is hurting for not forgiving because I can't forget. I don't even think he realizes or thinks about how the things he did affected me. So again I say no you will need to forgive.
    Jguevara

    Answer by Jguevara at 4:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • We are to forgive others,as GOD forgive us, my problem is how can I forgive a person,who won't admit that they hurt me.But, it is true ,the longer you hold on to the hurt and don't forgive and forget,the worst you will feel,you can actually make yourself physically or mentally sick by harboring hatred,while your attacker is going on with his life.

    lady-t3984

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 4:49 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I think people dont forgive because they think letting go of anger will somehow be saying that the action was ok. I know I have felt that way. Forgiveness is letting go of anger at that person. its not trusting them or being around them...just letting go of the anger and hurt for healing. They dont have to be sorry for you to heal. If you wait for them to understand your hurt or be sorry then you are letting them control your feelings.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:59 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • i read this book the love dare... and in 1 of the ch.s. it goes ont o talk about all the people that have hurt you and if you hold a grudge against them. by doing this you put them in a prison and do so to yourself becasue you can not move on and let go ( you just keep hurting yourself).... you need to forgive anyone who has hurt you and let karma take care......
    you know you have truly forgiven a person when you pity them ...
    jlouise03

    Answer by jlouise03 at 5:18 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • lady-t you dont need a person to even admit what they did to you for you to forgive them. This is about YOU not them. We dont know how bad they hurt you and probably neither do they but Jesus does! He will hold that person accountable. I am sorry you have been hurt, I have too. A lot. I am learning forgiveness also and it is a process. This is what I do~ Every time I think about my dad being so terribly mean to me I just say "but I forgive them" and pray to God that you start to forgive FROM THE HEART. Not just the words.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 5:21 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Forgiving frees you to receive the blessings life wants to offer you. Forgiving is for YOU not for them. Forgetting just makes things stay inside and fester. Forgiving gets rid of the bad stuff
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:26 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • you forgive for your own sake not for theirs. it's sucks to carry all that pain and sadness. let it go so that you can live your life better. you won't forget what they did but helping let go by forgiveness helps you get your life back. it's a heavy burden to carry on your shoulders with a grudge that really only hurts you not them. you deserve it.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:55 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • It's easier to forgive than forget. My husband is a verbal abuser and said some terrible things to me that he can never take back if he tried. I will forgive him but never, ever forget. That's why I'm divorcing him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Stickyfingers,thank you for your comment, I am very aware of the process of forgiving and healing, I was speaking that it helps you a little better,when the person acknowledges they hurt you.Like,when you tell your child to apologize for causing someone else pain,as soon as the child say"I'm sorry",all is forgiven. I hope I made this statement clearer.

    lady-t3984

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 6:06 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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