Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to get a 4yo over the whiney crying stage??

My son is 4.5 and, like most stages in his developement, is very intense in his whining and crying right now. Its driving me batty. Time outs and all the "normal" things don't seem to be working. Its getting so its impeding alot of fun we should be having (which is not abnormal for his stages--- as I said, he does everything very intensly) I'm wondering if anyone has any creative ideas that helped thier child through this lovely stage.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I ignore my son when he whines. The most I'll say is "I can't understand whining, you'll have to talk normally." If he starts crying, I'll put him in his room and tell him that he can cry in there and he can come out when he's ready to stop crying and talk about it. He rarely whines or cries anymore, though, I think he's figuring out that it gets him nowhere.

    Answer by tyrelsmom at 2:18 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • IGNORE the whining. Do NOT respond to it. Do NOT do or give him anything until he uses his words to ask for what he wants. There is NO reason a 4 1/2 yr old needs to whine. It is not a stage in his development. He can talk, therefore he doesn't need to whine. I have worked in child care for 20 years and have never dealth with whining and do not allow it in my classroom or in my house. Skip the timeouts, no spanking, just IGNORE the whining. If you don't acknowledge it he will stop. Tell him once that he needs to use his words and end it at that.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:16 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I dont believe in spanking or traditional "time outs" either but lets face it, he is only 4.5 sometimes he is going to whine and be upset, and ignoring it doesn't always help. My dd is 4 and when she was 3 we started enforcing a "no whining/crying downstairs" rule. If she is having what we call a "moment", we always remind her to use her words because we don't understand whining. BUT if that doesn't work she is told to go to her room and sort out her feelings or what she is trying to say/get across. We give her a couple of minutes to gather herself or whine it out, then one of us will go upstairs and talk to her about her behavior and how she is feeling. This seems to be the fastest and most effective way thus far. Shes even gotten to the point where if she is having a "moment" she will pause to tell us she needs to go upstairs! This way it is done and over with in about 5 minutes and we still have our sanity!

    Answer by lynda_dora at 9:53 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • 4.5..hmmm you better wait until he's 5 and deal then.....IGNORE is a good one and letting him know that he needs to use his big boy voice and tell mommy what he wants. they all do this ..ALL OF THEM...its like you said a stage. Let him know you understand hes upset and that you'll be ready to listen when he's done. Seriously just because he's 4 doesn't mean they cant comprehend that, i say it to my son all the time and he's noticed that mama will not respond to tantrums.


    Answer by EarthHippy at 7:54 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Ignore.

    Answer by peppermintmocha at 8:06 AM on Oct. 6, 2009