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My cousin is getting married next year. They are having to raise money on their own to pay for the wedding.

I am having an engagement party/shower for them later this month. Is it wrong to ask people for money instead of gifts? How do we word this? Do we put it on the invitation? Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks for your help!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • Yes, it is wrong to ask for money. If your cousin can't afford a big wedding, then she shouldn't be having one. There is nothing having a small wedding and staying within the budget of what she can spend. It is poor manners to ask for cash on any invitation.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:44 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • You need a book of manners,it is not etiquette to ask for money on the invitations. If,they can't afford a wedding,they have other choices,post-pone the wedding,go to the courthouse,or have a beautiful simple house wedding.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I wouldn't ask for money If they are paying for their own wedding, they will just have to stay within their budget ---that is their decision and shower guests shouldn't have to help pay for the wedding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • What my cousins friend did for her engament party was put a price on it ($30 a head) but actually picked up the dinner and gave the cash to the couple for thier wedding.

    Answer by auroura at 8:43 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • You do not ask for money on an invitation, and no way to word it is going to make it polite. Check out MISS MANNERS. A few years ago the average wedding was 20,000 dollars. I would say get creative or do something really simple. It is not good going into a life together, starting out in debt or going into life together doing things you cannot afford. Good luck.

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 8:08 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Traditional wedding etiquette says you never ask for cash. In fact, wedding invitation etiquette says you should not mention gifts - even telling people not to bring them. An engagement party is to an opportunity celebrate your good news with friends and family, not a fundraiser.

    Answer by lvpenguino at 8:03 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • It is not OK to ask for money, nor is it OK to put registry information in the invitations. People are to ask what the couple wants/needs or where they are registered when they call to RSVP. That's the traditional way, anyway.


    Answer by Pnukey at 8:02 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • A lot of people give money to newlyweds. I don't see anything wrong with asking for donations in lieu of gifts.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:00 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I don't think it's okay to ask for money instead of gifts.....people are on a budget, and may not want people to know what they spent, and some people already know what they'd like to give. I do think it's okay if people ask what the couple needs to say they'd really love cash in any amount to help out with their wedding. To be honest.....although I would always take a gift, a gift shouldn't be expected when you invite people, so it's kind of tacky to ask.......

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:46 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • It's perfectly okay to ask for monetary donations in lieu of gifts. Put the request (along with the registry information) inside the invitation.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 7:41 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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