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What Would you Do to get over this?

My husband and I got into a heated argument and words were said and I got so fustrated with him and told him to shut his F'n face and he said F U , U Fat B***(mind u I just gave birth one month ago by c-section). He said it 3 times. Later I addressed him and told him I have never been called such a name in my life. He said he was so sorry he has never called anyone that in his life. We have made up and come to an agreement on things but I keep thinking about it. I asked him why did he say it ? he said he was just was mad. I told him he must really think it because he said it , he said no he did'nt.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • In fights ppl choose deliberate words that will hurt the opponent. He knew what words would hurt. It's to disarm the opponent and win. I don't think anyone won in that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:33 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • People say hurtful things during heated arguments. He said it at the time, because in that moment, he wanted to hurt you. Unfortunately once you say words like that, it's really hard to take it back. You need to try to keep reminding yourself that he didn't mean it.

    Having a new baby is stressful for everyone. Your body is still adjusting to not having your baby inside anymore, and your uterus is probably still pretty large (it takes a while to shrink back up). It's hard when you feel like you don't even recognize your own body and someone makes a comment about it that is hurtful. Keep reminding yourself that this man loves you, you are the mother of his child, and you are all just trying to adjust to your new life together.

    Find time to spend with your husband doing something nice, fun, or romantic, and try to replace that in your mind when you remember his hurtful words. Remember - you said hurtful things too.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:35 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I doubt he really meant it... he was trying to make you feel the same way you made him feel.
    Sorry but you shouldn't have said what you did to him, and he shouldn't have said what he did.
    If my hubby told me to shut up period and I'm not sure what I'd say, but hopefully I'll never find out.
    You were both wrong and both owe and deserve apologies but now you know if you say hurtful things to him that he's going to return the favor.
    I've said it on here several times... words can never be taken back as you're learning right now, they do scar the heart and you'll never really know if he meant it or not (even tho I don't think he did).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:22 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I know it hurts when someone you love says something like that. The only thing that will make you feel better is time. As long as he doesn't go on the verbal assault again, you will be able to get over this through time. More than likely he was caught off guard when you said what he did and just like any human being he had to say something more mean than you did. He was probably hurt at what you said and wanted to hurt you back. I am sorry that it got that far and hopefully you both will think before you say something to the other. Good luck, and cherish each other. He is the best you have right now.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:19 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • That's why it's an argument, to say what you don't mean. If he apologized then I would accept it. I told my son's dad that I hate him. Still not sure if I meant it, but it happens. The important thing is that he apologized. I would let it go.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 10:26 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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