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What would you do if your child's dad all of a sudden comes and says that he wants to take his child with him?

You all should be used to me by now. Ok, so my son's dad does not come around, but since he is on the birth certificate and pays child support, then I have a feeling that he is going to come around one day and say that he wants his son for what ever reason. My question is, would you make him "visit" while he's at your house or would you say no, or would you let him take your child?

He pays child support and that's it. So I want him to be gone and not show up any more since he's good at that. Question number 2 is, are my feelings wrong? Am I making this about me?

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Queentdi

Asked by Queentdi at 9:34 PM on Oct. 5, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (55 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • personally, since you are making him pay child support, to me he has a right to see his child. If he wanted to leave for a day with the child I think he should set that up ahead of time with you but I think its his RIGHT as the father to be able to do so.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 9:40 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • The more people that love your child the better off the child will be. That is his father, on the birth certificate, and pays child support. He is not out of the child's life financially as he pays child support. Maybe someday he will grow up, realize what he has missed, and want a relationship. If drugs aren't involved I don't see the harm in it.
    SEEKEROFSHELLS

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 9:40 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Ummmm if he was never around then all of a sudden showed up and wanted to take him to visit I wouldn't let him. I guess technically he's legally allowed to do that but I would make him take me to court before I just let him take the baby out. If he REALLY wanted ti see the baby and I felt it was truly for good intentions, I would have him visit at the house.
    landons.mama

    Answer by landons.mama at 9:41 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • What is your concern? Your child's safety? A bad example? He is the father and he has rights. He is paying child support so he is entitled to be part of his child's life. If there is a genuine concern for the well been of your child you need to give us a complete picture otherwise every person will tell you he has a right to see his child.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 9:44 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • To seekerofshells, he sells drugs and uses them. My point is that yes I know he has rights to see his child. So I was already leaning towards what landons.mama said, let him see him at my house on my terms and if he doesn't like it then take me to court. You know how you feel right but you don't feel right?
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 9:45 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • If this were to happen and your mommy instincts were on fire, then I'd go with that.  Personally, if this were to happen to me, the answer would be hell no you aren't taking my child anywhere.  He could, of course, visit in OUR home as long as he wanted but to just take my child and leave, um, no.  And no I don't think your wrong or making it "all about you".  You have to protect yourself as well as your child and however you feel like you need to do that, thats what you should do.

    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 9:46 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • i would say no.....and this is the very reason that we went to "court" (he didnt fight me) for me to have full custody in writting and legal so that I call the shots, and if something like that occurs then its MY choice
    and donating a sperm DOES NOT give someone the RIGHT to take a child when they have not been involved...... it takes a whole lot more than a sperm to make a daddy!!
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:46 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • If you deny him the right to see his child and he decides to take you to court there's a chance you'd loose a lot of custody over that.
    I agree, that it would be best to let him see the child in your house, on your terms. If he doesn't like it then, yes, he could take you to court. Any kind of contact you have with him needs to be logged. Write it all down.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 9:49 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • There are so many strong women on this sight. I love you all. I hate feeling indecisive, but I need a little push sometimes. Mommymeg03, what benefits or should I say rights were given to you through full custody? I was googling it earlier this evening.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 9:51 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • To outstandinglove: If I say no he can't take him but he can see him at my house, is that the same as denial of visitation? May be a stupid question, but I'm serious.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 9:52 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

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