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Is this type of behavior normal for a nine year old?

Our neighbors son is very hyper and I usually see his mother whenever we are outside. Well somehow we got into a conversation about our kids. She begins telling me that when her son is angry he will smear his bowel movements on the walls and how he pees on her carpeting. I asked her if these were just accidents and she said no that when she asks him he says hes either bored or angry. I would never tolerate that. He also cusses at her and hits her. I just have to wonder if this is normal? She seems to think it is....but the whole situation brings up a red flag to me.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Oct. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • Not to be tolerated!

    Answer by QandA at 10:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • No it isn't. I sounds a lot like Oppositional Defiant Disorder or mental illness. Smearing feces at 9 is def. a huge red flag.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Smearing feces at age 9 is def. a huge red flag. GrnEyedGrandma

    I've heard of ODD (above) but don't know any of the signs, but smearing feces is sometimes a sign of molestation or sexual abuse. At least, that's what we learned in our foster parent training. Not necessarily saying that it's even by a family member. Could be someone outside the home, but a big problem. The child needs to be seen by a doctor.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:47 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • I had to take my step son to therapy for this exact thing. He stayed with us two months when his mother was having issues and after the second say he was smearing poo and when I would ask him why he would do such a thing he would cuss at me. There therapist said he wanted attention and affection so he acted out to get my attention. He said he was probably use to his mother neglecting him and whenever he did something so awful she would yell at him which is what he wanted cause at least it was attention. So maybe it's no so much the child but it could be the mother.

    Answer by kittymccaffery at 10:56 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • That is definitely not normal behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • Not normal behavior at all. This child needs therapy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • No that is not normal 9yr old behavior.

    Answer by MizLee at 11:43 PM on Oct. 5, 2009

  • No, obviously this child has behavior issues, perhaps a learning disability like ADD/ADHD.

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:05 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • Not normal and not normal for someone to share that info with someone other than a close friend! Red Flag, Red Flag, Red Flag!

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 12:09 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

  • From everything I have ever seen it sounds like odd or sexual abuse or as others said a form of attention seeking (mostly seen in severly neglected children) Honestly i personally have never met a child with ADD or ADHD who did this, I know quite a few of them and none have ever done that (not saying it couldnt happen but i have never seen/heard of it in the children i know)

    It is very abnormal and the child needs help, maybe ask the mother if her son has ever been tested for any conditions if you feel comfortable asking. I do know of autistic children who have done this (mine isnt one of them thankfully), there are so many things it could fall under but its a HUGE red flag that he needs help.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:33 AM on Oct. 6, 2009

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